Formulas
by MrAndMrsMulholland
Summary: Kate and Jim are happy together but what is the right formula to love? Will a woman, lost at sea, take everything away from Kate?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Jim + Kate = love**

Kate parked her four wheel drive in front of Jim's house. She still couldn't understand how a single man with an army salary could afford such a great place. Not that her own place wasn't good but from what she understood Jim owned this place and she only rented hers for a period of time.

He hadn't lied when he had described his place. He really did have a big veranda with ocean view and sea breezes. On it was a huge barbecue which was well used by the looks of it. This wasn't her first visit and she too had used the famous barbecue together with Jim.

Jim's jeep wasn't in his driveway but he could have put it inside the garage to make some space for her. Kate got out of the car and grabbed her bag and the bottle of Chablis which she had bought to celebrate their first month together.

Maybe it was a bit silly to celebrate any of that. She wasn't a young teenager anymore or a crazy twenty-some youngster but Jim brought this out in her; the silliness the spontaneous e-mails or phone calls to and from one another. She hadn't planned this but she was falling in love with Jim.

Thinking about what the night would bring Kate walked up to the door and rang the bell. They might have a month old relationship but giving each other keys to each other's house was a step they hadn't taken yet.

Eagerly she waited for Jim to open but after a second ring she realised he wasn't there. Luckily Jim had told her where he kept his spare key – a not so obvious place so it would have taken her ages to find it if he hadn't told her – and with it she entered his house.

"Jim?" Kate said, entering the seemingly empty house. "Jim are you at home?" she said closing the door and walking towards the kitchen. There, Kate put the bottle of wine on the counter before she walked up the stairs to see if Jim was in his bed- or bathroom.

From her pocket Kate pulled her mobile phone and sent Jim a text message asking him where he was. It wasn't like him not to be home when she would come over. Not that she was worried though, and she knew he wouldn't mind her being in his house on her own. It just was the first time that it happened and it did feel a bit awkward.

Kate walked back down again and stopped at the bottom of the stairs to have a good look around his house. Now he wasn't here she could shamelessly sniff around and try and find little secrets about him.

There were very few traces to be found of Jim's work. A picture here and there and some mementos from his training days but mainly there were lots of cultural ornaments to be found. Bright, warm colours were used all around giving it an inviting look.

The first time Kate had visited his place she had been really nervous about what to expect. He was this tough SAS guy from work but when she arrived at his place she saw a whole different side of Jim. He had looked so different out of his uniform and his house looked cosy and inviting.

Every guy she had ever been serious with she had met in work related situations and their houses had always looked like one big office. Fortunately Jim's place wasn't anything like that and after just a few visits Kate had started to feel more and more at home. It was like she belonged there, with Jim, and she wanted to know as much as possible about him as she could.

"You _are_ a big softy," Kate chuckled when she picked up a picture frame with a picture of broad smiling Jim in front of an ice-cream parlour, acting all excited about all the choices of ice-cream he could pick from. "You and your desserts," she added while softly putting the frame back in its original place.

Kate looked in the direction of the kitchen. "Desserts," she said, smiling. The last time he had tried to make his famous chocolate mousse but had failed miserably. Every excuse he could think of was tried on her but she hadn't bought any of it and used the incident to tease him mercifully.

Would Jim have tried another batch of chocolate mousse? The only way to find out was to open his fridge and see if there was anything in there.

With her head stuck in the fridge Kate couldn't miss the couple of cups filled with nice smelling brown stuff. "Did you give yourself enough time to make them or are we going to have another round of chocolate sludge?" she asked while she put her finger on one of them to check if the chocolate was hardened.

"What are you doing in my fridge, smudge?" Jim asked before he pulled her out of it.

Kate wanted to turn around but hit her head against the top of the fridge and shrieked. "Jim! You… Where…? How…?" Kate tried to say while hiding the fact she was checking the dessert.

"Yes I made some more to prove to you, once and for all, my chocolate mouse is the best in the country," Jim teased after he saw what Kate had been looking for.

Kate laughed and leaned against Jim to kiss him. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to know what's for dessert," she said as innocently as she could. "But what is that?" she asked when she saw a tray full of meat on the counter, next to the bottle of Chablis.

Jim turned around and cleared his throat. "That is, uhm, your dinner. You weren't supposed to see this but you're an hour early," he explained.

Kate looked at her watch and shook her head. "No I'm not! We had agreed I would be here around six," she protested.

Jim laughed and kissed her on her head. "You didn't give me any time to reply. You hung up the phone before I could say anything remember," he said. "Let's not fight about it. Have you been here long? Found anything special while you were snooping through my house?" he teased her.

"Besides the chocolate mousse?" Kate said with a smirk. "At least you made the dessert yourself. I should be glad I came early because you would never have owned up to the fact you didn't prepare it yourself," Kate teased him some more, pointing at the tray.

"You know how to hurt a man," Jim pretended to be hurt before he opened the fridge again. "You were so preoccupied with your dessert that you didn't even notice the nice salads I made as well. I just couldn't find the time to marinade the meat as well and…"

Kate put her finger on his lips before he could say anything else. "You don't have to defend yourself and I'm sorry I'm early and stuffed up your schedule," she said.

Jim pulled her close to him and kissed her on the top of her head. "You're never too early and you can't help it the navy screwed up your sense of timing," he said before he started laughing. Kate started to punch him while she laughed as well.

"I'm going to have a shower. I'll give you another half hour to snoop around or you could try and start the barbie," Jim said. "If you're capable," he mocked before he ran away from any more punches Kate could give him.

Half an hour later Jim reappeared on the veranda where Kate was overlooking the ocean view. "It's pretty, huh?" he said while he put his arm around her waist.

Kate didn't know what to say and just nodded.

"I see you lit the barbie, I'm impressed," Jim said looking at the barbecue which was ready for its first load of meat.

"I'm not completely incapable and they do teach us a lot of good stuff in the navy," Kate answered dreamily. "Oh Jim, just look at this view. If it wasn't for…" she said but Jim wouldn't let her finish her sentence.

"She's off duty and she still can't get her eyes off the sea!" Jim pouted.

Kate turned around and threw herself in his arms. "You didn't let me finish you silly soft, but still tough, army guy. I wanted to say that the view looks great but it's nothing compared to you," she finally finished her sentence.

Jim smiled and caressed her back lovingly. "Kate McGregor you might look tough in a navy uniform but I love you so much more when you're in your civvies and have a smile on your face," Jim complimented her.

"That's because you put it there," Kate said, referring to the smile. "Come on. Let's put something on that wonderfully lit fire before I've got to ring the neighbour again to re-light it," Kate said smilingly.

After they ate and let the barbecue go out Kate and Jim sat down in his swing. She was comfortably in his arms while he planted soft kisses everywhere he could. Kate had her head on his chest but made sure she could still see his face.

"It's so nice being here with you," Kate said. She hadn't been this relaxed in months and if it was possible she would stay here as long as she could.

"I like it having you here as well," Jim admitted. "What time do you sail tomorrow?" he asked.

Kate shrugged. "Not sure what time we actually sail but I've got a meeting at 0800 at Navcom," she answered forlornly. "I wished I hadn't because I'll have to go home soon. That is if I want to wake up in time," she added.

Jim caressed her back and slid his hand under the hem of her shirt. "Poor you," he teased. "I had so many great plans for tonight."

Kate started to smile and let her own hand wander under his shirt. "What kind of plans did you have in mind?" she asked curiously.

"If I would tell you, you're going to regret the fact you've got to go home so I'd better not do that or Mike Flynn is going to have a cranky XO tomorrow," Jim said as seriously as he could but Kate could see he was playing games with her.

"Since when do you care what Mike thinks? Besides, he's going to have a cranky XO anyway. We're away for at least ten days and in that time I can't see my boyfriend," Kate replied while she removed her hand from his back and started to unbutton his shirt.

"Boyfriend?" Jim asked shocked. "Does that mean you're my girlfriend?" He took hold of her hands and looked into her eyes. "Oh Kate! I love you so much. We'll be fine. We didn't see each other for three years and we still have feelings for each other. I know I can survive those ten days and you will too," he said sternly.

Kate nodded slowly and kissed him on his lips. "I did bring my toothbrush and uniform," she whispered before she kissed him again, this time a lot more demanding.

"And I washed your undies from last time so if you forget to bring those," Jim said hopeful.

Kate smiled and put her head down on his bare chest. "Then I'll stay the night if you don't mind," she said, knowing the answer.

Jim had both his hands underneath her shirt and was caressing her back. He wanted to do so much more but would never do that on his veranda where so many people could still intrude. It was secluded but it still felt wrong to undress a woman there.

"You mind taking this to the bedroom?" Jim suggested when he noticed Kate was trying to unbuckle his belt. She either had a bit too much to drink or was really in need of some action. "Come on. We'll lock up and go to bed. I'll give you something to remember while you're away," he said jokingly.

Kate got up and then helped Jim. "You've got tickets on yourself but hey, I still love you. Just make sure I can still work tomorrow," she teased him back.

"You know me smudge. I wouldn't do anything to hurt you," he said before he pulled her in an embrace and gave her another passionate kiss. "Let's lock up and go to bed."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: positive test result = pregnant**

Patrols could be so tedious and for once Kate wished this current patrol would be. It would make it a lot easier for her. She was tired, felt sick, threw up more times than she had done in the previous year all together and that was just her own physical side of the story.

The past few days they had been searching high and low to find Ryan after he had gone AWOL. They had found him alive after they had been told he had died at sea. Everyone was happy, especially Mike. It was very personal since Ryan turned out to be his son. The tension during the search had been tangible and had made her own physical problems even worse.

Early on in the patrol Swain had given her medication for the nausea. He had also given her a pregnancy test. When Swain had mentioned the word 'pregnancy' Kate had felt ashamed. Of course she had thought of it herself and knew it was a possibility but she didn't want to admit to that idea so she had brushed Swain off, telling him it was impossible for her to be pregnant.

She had taken the test with her to her cabin but had thrown it in a drawer. Even though she had tried to ignore the idea of a possible pregnancy, the symptoms didn't go away. She kept throwing up and Mike had taken over her active duties on boardings. She was feeling so sick that she didn't even tried to fight it.

And now Ryan had been found and everything aboard came to a rest. Finally there was some time to have a moment on her own but when Kate had gone into her cabin she had found the test again. To give her own mind some rest as well she had decided to take it.

With the test in her hands she walked from the bathroom to her desk. There it was. The answer she knew she would get. Pregnant. With the result to back up what her body had been telling her for a couple of days already it was more than real.

Kate had to take a couple of deep breaths before she could think of what to do next. Tell Jim. Go and see a doctor. Tell Mike and Maxine. She knew Jim had a right to hear the news first but he was in and out of the country and she didn't even know where he was right now.

Mike and Maxine could wait, she thought. This pregnancy wouldn't stop her from doing her job, at least not for a while. She couldn't be more than a few weeks along anyway so there was still plenty of time to inform her bosses.

Kate looked at the test again. She always wanted a family but now that it was actually happening it was scary. Jim seemed like a family minded guy but the subject 'kids' hadn't really been discussed yet. How would he react when she finally had the chance to tell him? There was no time to think about that now. They were about to arrive back in port and she still had enough paperwork to do to keep her occupied until the birth.

When they arrived in port they handed over their prisoner to the AFP and Ryan was going to go to hospital to get a proper check-up. Kate walked up onto the bridge to see Mike about some ship's business but he wasn't there.

She looked outside and saw the ambulance waiting for its patient. Mike probably was briefing Maxine about Ryan so she would find him down there for sure. Kate walked out of the bridge and was surprised when she saw him standing there, overlooking it all.

"Aren't you going?" she asked him, looking at the scene below them on the dock. "With your family?" she added just before she looked at Maxine and Ryan. _His_ son.

Maxine waved casually towards Mike. She looked tired but most of all relieved. This was the time when you would or should drop everything to be with the people you loved, so why was Mike still glued to his spot?

"I'd thought I'd give them some space. I'll meet them at the hospital," Mike answered.

His answer confused her a bit. He didn't object to the word 'family', but that could mean a few things. She had used that word deliberately to test him, to see if he objected to it or not. Did he see them as a family or didn't he see what she meant? She couldn't figure it out.

"Feeling better?" Mike suddenly asked her.

It pulled her from her thoughts but Kate was glad he changed the subject. Not that she was going to give him all the details though.

"Yeah, I'm better," she answered without looking at him.

"Good," Mike replied. He didn't look at her but Kate knew by the way he spoke that there was more coming.

"You know there was a rumour going around the crew that you were pregnant?" he said as quick as he could, still not looking at her.

Kate was stunned. Swain and Robert were the only two people who would know about the test she had and Robert would never start a rumour and Swain was professional enough to know when to keep his mouth shut. How did that rumour start?

"What do you expect?" Mike chuckled as if it was a joke.

He thought it was funny? He couldn't know she really was pregnant but he was brushing it off as a joke, as if it was impossible for her to be pregnant. She had to take a deep breath before she replied: "I can tell you, categorically, that I'm not!" _That is in the category 'I'm joking'_, Kate thought.

Mike accepted her answer with a small nod and looked at his family again. Once Kate had thought she would start a family with him. Mike hadn't showed much initiative towards her the past couple of months but she knew he still had feelings for her. What would he say if she would tell him the truth?

"Just out of interest," she said in a serious tone. "How would you feel if I was?"

Suddenly Kate didn't care for his answer and turned around and walked away. He didn't even think it was possible, why else would he make a joke about it? Why would she care what Mike thought when in fact she wanted to talk to Jim?

"Kate! Wait!" Mike yelled at her. He followed her inside and grabbed her by her arm. "What do you mean? Why are you asking me that?" he demanded.

Kate hated that she'd put herself in this position. She should have kept her mouth shut. "Nothing," she growled.

"Oh come on Kate. You can't ask me those questions and then walk away," Mike pleaded.

Kate hadn't been herself lately and her behaviour started to worry him a bit. He wanted to find out what was going on so he could help her but for that to happen he needed to know what was going on and right now that was impossible.

"You want to grab a bite later on? We should talk, shouldn't we?" he suggested.

Kate didn't respond and continued to walk to her cabin. When she had reached it she turned around, almost amazed that Mike had followed her all the way out there. "I don't think that's a good idea, besides you're otherwise occupied. Weren't you meeting up with your family?" she shot at him.

Mike wanted to say something but was stunned by her foul tone. This was clearly not the right time to ask her anything so he stopped and let his shoulders drop in defeat. "I'll come by your place later on. Something is bothering you and I'm worried," he let her know.

Kate shrugged and closed the door. The last thing she wanted was to have Mike around her place when she wanted to find out where Jim was to tell him the news. Jim. That's what she was going to do. She was going to his place to see if he was home and if not she would be sure Mike wouldn't make her night any worse by showing up.

They had arrived back in port around noon which made it possible for Kate to leave reasonably early. After finishing all her paperwork she left the Hammersley and drove straight to Jim's place. She didn't know if he was going to be home or not but being around his stuff would make her feel better. His car wasn't in his driveway but he could still come home later that night.

With the spare key Kate let herself inside. She waited for hours until she realised it was not very likely he was coming home that night. She should go home but the tiredness kept her from going home and she was still hoping against all hope Jim _could_ still come home during the night. He wouldn't mind if she stayed a few more hours.

Kate laid down on his bed and closed her eyes. Jim's smell was all around her and it set her mind at ease. She closed her eyes and dreamed that she told Jim about the pregnancy. He had the biggest smile on his face and picked her up and twirled her around. It was just a dream but Kate felt confident Jim would love the idea of becoming a dad. It felt like only minutes since she'd closed her eyes but when she opened them again it was dark outside.

Kate sat up on the edge of the bed. There was a sound downstairs. With a quick look at Jim's alarm clock she saw it was 8.13 pm. She had made the right decision to stay here because he had come home! Kate almost flew down the stairs and with every step her good mood increased. "Jim!" she said happily. "Oh Jim, I've got some good news for you."

"Jim? You are at home after all?" a female voice said simultaneously.

At the bottom of the stairs Kate stopped, realising it wasn't Jim who was in the house. Not too far away from her stood a woman with long blond hair and a box in her hands. When she saw Kate she smiled. Kate had seen her on a few pictures and knew it was Jim's mother, she just couldn't remember her name.

Kate stopped running and suddenly felt very self-conscious about her looks. She had been sleeping and hadn't cared what she looked like when she thought it was Jim who had come home but now she tried to straighten her skirt and touched her hair, hoping it wasn't too much of a mess.

"Mrs Roth," Kate almost whispered as she walked the last few meters towards the woman.

"You must be Kate," Jim's mother said encouragingly. "Jim told me a little bit about you but he was very modest, maybe a bit too modest," she added while she extended her hand.

Kate didn't know what Jim had told her. Heck, she didn't even know he had talked about her at all! This was way too awkward.

"I'm Therese, but most people call me Terry," she introduced herself properly.

Kate smiled and shook her hand. "Kate McGregor," she stated. "I don't know what Jim told you about me but…"

"Don't worry. It was all good," Terry smiled.

Kate released a breath and looked around the place. She should explain what she was doing in her son's house or all those good things Jim had told his mother about her would vanish into thin air.

"I hoped Jim would come back today. I want to tell him something," Kate explained.

With her free hand Terry caressed Kate's upper arm. In her other hand she had a shoe box which was slipping from her grip when she paid more attention to Kate.

"He told me he wouldn't be back for a few days. I found a few of his grandmother's things for him which he had asked for," Terry said while she took a better hold of the box. "Can I make you a cup of coffee or tea?" she asked.

Kate still couldn't comprehend what was happening. His mother was such a nice person, so different from the experiences she had had with her own mother. "Sure," she answered.

Kate followed Terry into the kitchen thinking this was the weirdest situation ever. Terry could have called the cops or at least be angry at her for being at Jim's place unlawfully but she was nice and inviting and wanted to get to know her.

For a few hours they talked about several subjects although Jim was the most discussed topic of the evening. It was deep in the night when both women left Jim's house. Both left behind a note for Jim to read when he arrived back home. Kate was happy and when she finally crawled into her own bed and it didn't take her long to fall asleep, dreaming of the little family she would have in just a few months.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Kate + engagement ring ≠ marriage**

A week went by and Jim was still away. He had sent a couple of e-mails and they had even managed a phone call but Kate had made her mind up and wanted to tell him the news about the pregnancy while they were face to face.

Kate finally started to get the nausea more under control and whether it was because of the pills she was still taking or the morning sickness being over she didn't know. She didn't care either. Whatever it was it kept Swain off her back and she didn't have to find an excuse to give either Mike or Maxine as to why she was still feeling crook.

One of the things Kate did to help get rid of the nausea was drinking peppermint tea. She made herself a few cups during the day instead of coffee. She had done some reading about caffeine and knew she shouldn't drink too much of it. She had wanted to cut back on her coffee intake anyway and as long as she hadn't been able to talk to Jim about what he wanted to do about the pregnancy she decided to take good care of her body and baby.

Kate walked out on deck with a fresh cup of tea. She had been the officer of the watch since the early hours of the day and was ready for some fresh air before she took a nap. It was very likely they would be sailing soon and there wouldn't be much time to get some rest then.

With most of the crew still to arrive it was nice and quiet and Kate hoped she could sit on her favourite spot on the back deck. They were still in port and it might look strange for her to sit there but she didn't care. That spot helped her clear her mind and think straight.

Kate closed the latch on the door and walked towards the stern when she saw Jim walking towards her. It was an unexpected but pleasant surprise and without even realising it she started to smile. Finally she saw him face to face and if she could get him to come to her cabin, for example, she could finally tell him the news.

"Just the woman I wanted to see," Jim said. He had already spotted Kate a few seconds earlier. This would save him a lot of time trying to find her. The Hammersley wasn't too big but finding one person without raising too much suspicion was harder than it looked.

"Rubbish," she mocked. "I'll bet you're here for some terrorist related reason," she threw back at him.

Jim couldn't deny that. He had brought all his gear along and Kate was smart enough to know it had to be work related but that wasn't the reason he wanted to see her.

"I need to talk to you," he said while he walked back a bit so they would be a bit more secluded. When he had thought about his plan he had thought they would be doing this in her cabin. They could still go there but he was too excited to wait any longer.

Kate followed Jim. A second ago she wanted to tell him about the baby she was carrying but he sounded so serious. "Hmm, well now I am curious," she said trying to sound nonchalant.

Jim didn't only sound serious he looked it as well and when he put down his bag Kate started to get a little bit worried.

"What is it?" she said a lot more demanding.

Jim didn't respond and took his time to plant his feet firmly on the ground. He was going to do something he had never done before in his life, the least he could do was to make sure he wouldn't fall or trip.

He wanted to hold Kate's hands but she was still holding her cup so without asking her he grabbed it and placed it behind her. _Now_ he was ready.

"Kate," he started slowly. "When I was younger my grandmother said to me once; one day you'll find a woman that you're willing to change your life for."

_What was this? Was he softening her up to break bad news? Had he found a woman, another woman, he wanted to change everything for?_

Kate didn't want to look at him but Jim kept staring straight into her eyes while he got something from his pocket.

"She gave me this before she died," Jim said, unravelling the handkerchief.

_This started to look a lot like those sentimental moments in a movie just before someone was about to pop the question. Was Jim going to do that?_

"It's her engagement ring," Jim continued. "I want to give it to you."

He _was_ popping the question! Kate realised she was holding her breath and tried to release the air but she didn't know how to.

"I know this might seem to be a bit out of the blue."

Kate wanted to say something but that was hard while she was trying to focus on her breathing so she did what she knew would assure him she was fine; she smiled.

"I love you with all my heart and I want to marry you," Jim finally said _the_ words.

"I uhm, I wasn't uhm expecting this," Kate stammered. There were so many things she wanted to say but nothing sensible came out of her mouth right now.

"I know what I want Kate and it's you," he stated before placing the ring in her hand.

_Wow_! Those words were like a cherry on a cake. Someone wanted _her_! Not a thing or a job but her!

"You think about it," Jim said while he closed her fingers around the ring.

"I will," Kate answers, looking at the ring. "Think about it," she added as if he might think she was already accepting his proposal.

This felt so weird and so good at the same time. Still, before she could answer his question she wanted to think about it thoroughly.

Jim hadn't expected any other answer from Kate. He knew she needed time and he was willing to give it to her. Glad he didn't get a right down negative either he pulled Kate into a passionate embrace. At that moment he felt like the luckiest man in the world.

Jim noticed how the kiss relaxed Kate. She even intensified it by putting her own hand on the short of his neck but then she froze again. She had seen something or someone. Still kissing her Jim turned around to see Madelaine Cruise arriving.

_And I thought the navy had a bad sense of timing, _Jim thought.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: caesium + semtex = dirty bomb**

The news about Jim's proposal had reached Mike. Kate could have hit herself for being so stupid as to leak that piece of information to Dutchy. He had seen it as his duty to inform the CO who in his turn had made sure Kate and Jim had no time to talk.

Kate was angry. If Mike thought this was going to change her mind he was wrong. She really wanted to tell Jim the news about the baby and see and hear his reaction but every time there was something that kept interfering.

Kate had been so overwhelmed by the marriage proposal that she had totally forgotten about the subject she had originally wanted to discuss with Jim. By the time she had found Jim, a few minutes later, it was too late. He was discussing work with Madelaine and needed to speak to Mike urgently.

It wasn't all Mike's fault Jim and Kate had no time together. Work was keeping them pretty busy as well. First they had found caesium and then semtex. The seriousness of this problem kept everyone focused on their job, and marriage or babies were the last thing they should even be thinking about.

Kate walked back onto the bridge straight to the EOD. She had just returned from the cruiser with the dirty bomb on board. There was nothing they could do there so she had left Swain and Jim to drive the boat as far away from port as they could and to defuse the bomb.

"They've stopped their engine," 2Dads announced. He didn't have to. Everyone could see the boat had stopped and was drifting, but why?

They were not far enough from port to reduce the risk and more importantly they didn't have much more time before the bomb went off.

Kate looked outside, remembering the happenings of a year ago when she had been glued to the EOD watching the sub explode. Then she _thought_ Mike was on board. Now she _knew_ Jim was and with every second ticking away the chance of his survival was decreasing.

"Swain, Jim, time to get out of there," Mike ordered.

Nothing happened. They didn't respond. They didn't even signal that something was wrong. What were they doing? Why didn't they get the hell out of there and save their lives? She had ordered Jim to do so if there wasn't enough time to defuse the bomb.

Kate didn't dare to look at her watch knowing full well time was running out. Her breath was becoming irregular and to make sure she wasn't going to fall she decided to sit down in the Captain's chair.

Kate closed her eyes as the final seconds ticked away and when the loud explosion was heard she knew Jim and Swain were dead.

The pain in her chest was unbearable She couldn't breathe. If she hadn't been sitting in the chair she would have collapsed for sure.

No one on the bridge said anything until the phone rang. Without hesitation RO walked towards it and answered.

"Commander White sir," he said as he handed the phone to Mike.

Mike wanted to take it but then he saw Kate's white face.

"Bird. Help her," he ordered.

"Mike Flynn," he said trying to sound as professional as he could.

"Tell me there was no one left on that boat," Maxine said hopeful.

Mike was surprised how quickly Maxine had reacted. Of course they had informed Navcom all the way up until a few minutes ago and they must have seen and heard the explosion as well, but still the response came very fast. Mike realised he had to tell what had just happened even though he could barely even grasp it himself. As the captain he had a duty to report but he hadn't even been able to check on his crew.

"Mike," Maxine begged.

Mike closed his eyes, fighting back the tears. "No, Swain and Jim were-" he couldn't continue.

On the other side of the line Mike heard a deep sigh.

"How are you and the crew holding up?" Maxine asked.

Mike turned around and saw RO at his desk. He was shaken up but seemed pretty calm. 2Dads was grounded to the floor and kept looking through his binoculars as if Swain and Jim would magically reappear as soon as the smoke subsided. Downstairs Charge was looking after Dutchy who was shot but they must have heard the explosion as well and Bird was standing next to Kate who had tears rolling down her face but wasn't making any sound.

"We uhm. We're. We're in shock," Mike stammered.

"Can you bring in Hammersley? I can get someone to come over and bring her in for you if neces-"

"Sir, the X has trouble breathing. I need help," Bird yelled.

"I'll call you back Maxine," Mike said without much more explanation and hung up the phone.

Kate tried to focus on her breathing but whatever she tried it didn't work. Bird was talking to her but the sounds didn't make much sense to her. Kate felt hot and then cold before the world started to turn black.

"She's losing consciousness," Bird cried out in a panic.

"Is she breathing?" Mike asked.

Bird tried to stop Kate from falling. She was gliding off the chair.

"2Dads help her to get the X on the ground," Mike ordered.

"RO, contact Navcom. Tell them we'll bring in Hammersley ourselves. We need at least two ambulances standing ready. When you've done that I want you to find someone to go around and check the rest of the crew," Mike ordered.

In the meantime Kate had been put on her back and Bird and 2Dads were checking her.

"She's still breathing sir," Bird said, sounding really relieved. "Help me put her in the recovery position," she told 2Dads.

Mike was glad. Kate was going to be OK. Bird was standing up as a sailor and 2Dads didn't make stupid remarks, for once.

Not much later they arrived back in port where a full media circus had formed at the entrance of the base. Mike wanted to go with Kate to the hospital but he needed to report to Maxine and he had to make a phone call to Sally Blake.

He felt drained but Mike still had a long day ahead of him. He was going to check on Dutchy and Kate as soon as he had time.

Kate woke up in hospital with a few cords attached to a beeping machine. The light around her was really bright. Kate lifted the blanket a bit and realised she was wearing a hospital gown. She wanted to ask what had happened and where her uniform was but her mouth was dry and no sound came out.

"Doctor, she's awake," a woman said.

Kate had closed her eyes again against the bright light but she wanted to see who was talking. A young nurse stood next to her bed and smiled at her.

"How are you feeling?" the nurse asked.

Kate tried to speak again but still no sound came out.

"You can have a few sips," the nurse said while she handed a glass of water.

Kate noticed the beeping machine wasn't the only thing she was attached to. An IV line was stuck on her hand and a sack with fluids was hanging from a stand. Kate didn't want to think about it and drank the water before she handed back the glass. It didn't help her talking because when she opened her mouth again the only thing that came out was some sort of a sob.

"You know where you are? What happened?" the nurse asked her.

Kate nodded. She didn't remember much. Just the enormous pain on her chest and the dizzy spell before everything went black. When they had brought her in they must have given her a check and Kate wondered if they knew about her pregnancy by now. Should she say anything about it? She didn't want to if she didn't have to, scared they would inform Navcom about it.

"You were unconscious for a while. We attached you to coronary care to monitor your heart rate. Your colleague told me you saw the explosion and you lost your friends," the nurse explained.

Kate nodded again and touched her chest. "Heart attack?" she barely was able to say.

The nurse smiled and shook her head. "No, you didn't have a heart attack. It's because of the shock. The doctor will be here soon and he'll be able to explain," the nurse said.

"Thank you," Kate whispered before she turned her head away. She wanted to go back to sleep and dream of Jim and how she was finally going to tell him she was pregnant. She wanted to sleep because in the real world it wasn't possible anymore.

A week later Kate was back home. The only reason why they had let her out was because Mike had insisted on staying with her. He had slept on the couch and made sure she was comfortable.

It took her a few days before she was able to talk again. They wouldn't let her go home until she did. Nobody really understood what was going on in her mind. They knew Jim had asked her to marry her but any question about him she had refused to answer. In fact, any time anyone started talking about Jim Kate closed up and didn't respond.

Through the blood tests she had while in hospital the doctors and nurses had found out about her pregnancy but she had made sure no one else would hear about it.

Now it was time for the memorial service where Jim and Swain would receive their award posthumously. Kate had gotten herself ready and was waiting for Mike to come down and take her to the base but it frightened her to go there and face everyone. Face Jim's parents.

"I feel so guilty," Kate said when she heard Mike come down.

Mike didn't come close. After a week of trying he knew he shouldn't come too close.

"I couldn't marry Jim because…" Kate said before she had to take a deep breath. She couldn't finish her sentence. Mike looked at her encouragingly and waited for her to find the strength to go on.

"I can only imagine myself marrying…" she tried to explain, but again didn't finish her sentence.

Mike slowly nodded. "Yeah, me too," he replied.

Kate didn't understand what he meant but shook her head so she could focus on her own thoughts without being bothered to think of what he was trying to say.

"I don't know what to say to his parents," she finally admitted. The tears came back and for once Kate was glad Mike broke the unwritten rule she had come up with in the past week and came to comfort her.

"Tell them the truth," Mike said softly. "I'll be there with you. You won't be alone, I promise."

Kate took a final deep breath and smiled. She knew Mike was right although he had probably meant something else. She would never be alone anymore because now a little bit of Jim would always be with her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: 21 crew + 1 found = 12 extra weeks**

"I want to welcome everyone back to work. Our loss is still very recent and this, being the first patrol after losing Swain, will be hard on all of us. That's why I want to ask each and every one of you to keep an eye out for each other and respect feelings. I will not tolerate jokes or teasing," Mike said, glancing towards the most obnoxious prankster on the ship.

Three weeks had gone by since the bombing but they had to go back to work sometime and today seemed to be it. 2Dads returned a serious nod after Mike's warning look. Mike hoped it was enough but he was confident enough 2Dads wasn't going to break his trust.

"I also want to welcome our new Coxswain, Lieutenant Timothy Howard. He'll join us until we've found a permanent Coxswain so Lieutenant Howard can return to working at the hospital," Mike continued. He was trying hard not to mention the word 'replace' or 'Swain'. Chris Blake had been their Swain and, although it was a job, no one _could_ ever replace him.

"Try and make him feel at home and help him get around as much as you can," he ordered everyone.

All of Hammersley's sailors were gathered at the back of the boat, waiting for him to give them the order to prepare for departure and Mike had to admit he was glad to be back on Hammersley himself. It was hard losing a good mate but that shouldn't stop them from doing their job.

"Coast watch has spotted a small boat drifting out at sea. They want us to check it out. X pipe specials and close up. That's all," Mike ordered before he left for his cabin.

Not much later they were well on their way and Mike decided to go to the wardroom to see how Lieutenant Howard was doing. He found him checking the medical cupboard.

"Everything up to date?" Mike asked. Apart from the lists they had to carry he had no clue what they had on board. He had always trusted Swain but seeing all the medical equipment spread on the table it felt like Swain had never done his job properly. It was a bit strange. The medical supply list had been checked before they had left. Everything they had to have on board was there.

"I never realised how few materials there would be on a patrol boat. How can I do my job properly?" Howard wondered while he lifted boxes and read some labels to check what he had in his hands.

"That's patrol boats for you. We don't have a full equipped medical ward. It's not in our job description to supply medical assistance," Mike started to explain.

"I get that," Howard said, sounding a bit frustrated.

Mike noticed the frustration and motioned him to sit down for a second.

"I know you're a doctor and that your main interest is with medicine. Being placed on a patrol boat probably wasn't your choice but we've got to make the best of it. The Brass obviously placed you here for a reason. You'll find we're a good bunch of people and occasionally we come across a case that needs a real doctor. You might be lucky and if not," Mike tried to cheer up the guy. "you can put your time with us down as good experience."

Timothy Howard smiled and returned to his task. Mike wasn't so sure his little pep talk had worked. The new Coxswain kept muttering under his breath and although he probably didn't mean for Mike to hear, Mike could hear him say: "I hope _that_ doesn't happen."

There wasn't much more Mike could do down in the wardroom so he excused himself and went back up to the bridge. There everything seemed almost normal. RO was working at the radio behind the console. 2Dads was at the helm with Kate sitting in the Captain's chair.

"Who has the ship?" Mike asked the obvious question.

"I do sir," Kate replied, looking at him with questioning eyes, wanting to know if she should step down or not.

"Anything to report?" he asked, not yet demanding to take back his ship.

"We're currently half an hour away from the coordinates given by coast watch. They've informed us there's one POB on board but he or she is not responding. RO keeps trying to make contact but so far no luck. The boat hasn't come up on radar which is odd because it should have a long time ago," Kate stated.

Mike nodded and stepped towards the chair she was sitting in. "I'll take over now," he said.

Kate had hoped she would be able to stay seated for a little longer. She was a bit tired and wanted to save all the energy for the boarding.

"How was your shore leave X?" Mike asked while he took his place in the Captain's chair.

Her shore leave was the last thing she wanted to talk about. There was a good reason why she had gone away for the greatest part of the three weeks they were given.

"It's OK to say you were grieving. The guy who wanted to marry you died and…" Mike started.

"His name is Jim and would you stop patronising me," Kate snapped. "Now, we're only half an hour away from our destination should I pipe boarding stations or not?"

By the time she was finished she felt sorry for the tone she had used. It was just that she didn't want to talk about the past couple of weeks and especially not at the bridge right now.

"Yes, pipe boarding stations X," Mike answered a bit baffled. "And get yourself a brew or something. We'll talk later, OK?"

Kate used the intercom to announce boarding stations and wanted to turn around to go down when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I should have realised you missed Jim. You're doing great and you've earned yourself a little break. Get yourself five minutes. The others know what to do in the meantime," Mike said to her in a friendly tone.

Kate smiled and left. When she walked into the boarding room, after her little break, everyone was ready. Dutchy was explaining something to their new Coxswain about procedures but the others were calmly waiting until they could get out on the water.

Kate put her vest on and checked her gun before placing it in her holster. 2Dads handed her a helmet and radio. She was ready.

"I've done the training. I know what to do and how to do it, but it feels strange walking around with a gun. Normally I save people, not hurt them with a firearm," Lieutenant Howard said when he passed her.

"It's mainly a precaution. Most of the time we don't have to use them," Kate said a bit uneasy.

What was this guy doing in the navy if he didn't want to work with weapons?

"Dutchy explained to you what you've got to do?" Kate asked, wondering if it could be as simple as touchy nerves.

"Yes he did," Lieutenant Howard answered confidently.

"Good," Kate said relieved. The last thing she needed was a guy who didn't know what to do or how to do it.

"I don't have a problem with guns Lieutenant McGregor. Actually I'm excited to get some action. I've done all the training and refreshment courses and now I can test my skills," he said.

Kate frowned. "I don't want you to go heroic on me. Follow orders and check if the person needs medical assistance. Nothing more," she warned him.

"Yes ma'am," he replied.

"I'm going up to see how close we've come to the coordinates. You can either wait here or down at the RHIB," Kate explained before she went back up to the bridge.

Mike was looking outside through his binoculars. Bird was outside on the look-out, also looking through a set of binoculars.

"Sir, 500 meters green 45 degrees," Bird yelled, pointing in the direction where she saw the boat bobbing in the water.

Kate walked outside to see for herself, followed by Mike.

"That's not a boat," she said aghast. "That's nothing more than an upgraded dinghy."

A wooden boat with some sort of a tent construction was drifting not too far away from them. A small engine was attached to it but it didn't seemed to be working.

How had this _thing_gotten so far out to sea? Why had coast watch spoken of a 'boat' when it was clearly something else? There was no time for any of those questions so Kate walked back inside to hear the final order.

"Go and check it out X," Mike said to her.

The RHIB got as close to the dinghy as possible but even the RHIB was bigger.

"Australian navy. If anyone is in there, show yourself," Kate yelled.

There was no reaction and Kate decided to go on board. From the side of the RHIB she jumped onto the wooden 'boat'. That was the easy part. Getting back on the RHIB was going to be a lot harder, but she didn't want to think of that yet.

Kate pushed away the tent fabric. A woman was down on the floor and she was most definitely ill.

"Lieutenant Howard, I need you on board here," she ordered.

The Lieutenant also came on board and gave the woman a quick look-over.

"We need to take her back to Hammersley where I can give her a better check-up," he said, sounding concerned.

"Do you know what's wrong with her?" Kate asked, as she assessed the situation to determine how to get the woman onto the RHIB.

"Lieutenant McGregor how can I answer such a question without the right equipment available to me. I can only tell you what you and I can see. She's a very sick woman who needs treatment. That's all I can tell you right now," he answered.

Kate sighed. She hadn't expected him to give her a detailed description of her symptoms but he was a doctor after all, he should be able to say more about the woman than she would.

"OK, we'll get her back on Hammersley," Kate shrugged.

Kate walked up to the bridge to report back to Mike. Lieutenant Howard was looking after the patient in the wardroom. The woman was badly dehydrated and had bloodstains on her shirt. How she had gotten those was still a mystery since she didn't have any obvious wounds.

Mike listened to her and then turned towards Charge who was at the helm.

"Steer for home," he ordered. "It sounds like she needs urgent treatment in a hospital."

"Aye sir," Charge replied.

"She's lucky we have a real doctor on board," Kate said.

Mike nodded, although, remembering the scene earlier that day in the wardroom he wondered if Lieutenant Howard was thinking the same. There was a real doctor on board of Hammersley but with limited possibilities it was still very vital to get her back to port as soon as possible.

"I'll go and check downstairs," Mike stated and while he walked downstairs he said: "The X has the ship."

In the wardroom he found Lieutenant Howard pacing up and down. He had his hand up on his forehead and he was mumbling to himself. He was so deep in thought that when Mike spoke he jumped just a little bit.

"How is she?" Mike asked.

"We've got a problem sir," Howard spoke slowly.

Mike gave him a quizzical look. He probably was going to get some sort of a lecture on the limited medical capacity of this ship and how it stopped Howard from treating the woman but Howard suddenly stopped and looked at the woman before he looked back at Mike.

"She has tuberculosis," he said.

Mike didn't know much about it and he needed a second to dig up the information he did know. It was a disease which affected the lungs but nothing else about it came to mind.

"It's highly infectious," Howard stated when he saw the CO looking blank.

"We can't go back to port," he added.

Mike really lost his train of thought now and shook his head.

"Why can't we go back? I thought she needed full medical treatment," he asked.

"She does but we'll be in quarantine," Howard answered. "For the next twelve weeks."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: quarantine + pregnancy = problems**

Kate was the last person to enter the ship's office. There was something wrong with the patient they had brought on board and she already knew what it was even though Mike was officially going to inform them right now.

Kate had been in her cabin, changing into some dry clothes, when she had first heard about the woman suffering from TB. One of the sailors had walked passed her cabin, talking to another sailor and Kate had overheard them.

If it really was true they had to go back to port as soon as possible but when the engines stopped Kate realised going home wasn't an option. She didn't know all the rules and regulations by heart but TB would surely keep them in quarantine for a while.

Kate looked around the office and saw the worried faces of the officers. They had to act quickly before the junior sailors went crazy. All Kate wanted to know now was how long they would have to stay in quarantine.

"I'll cut to the important information right away," Mike started when he saw everyone was there.

"The woman we've picked up has tuberculosis. We're obliged to report this to the authorities. As you might know tuberculosis is very contagious. I've just informed Commander White about the situation. She'll start the process to get everything organised from her end while we'll have to get a few things done here," Mike said, looking at the three people present in the room.

"If it's very contagious wouldn't it be better to get the woman off our ship?" Charge asked.

Mike laughed cynically. "It is _because_ it's so contagious that we're placed into quarantine. We're not allowed to enter Cairns, or any other port, for the next twelve weeks."

"Twelve weeks!" Kate exclaimed.

"You're not serious sir," Charge said almost simultaneously.

"I'm afraid so," Mike replied, trying to calm them down.

"How sure is this new guy that it's really TB?" Dutchy asked calmly.

Mike shrugged. Lieutenant Howard had seemed pretty sure about his diagnosis. He had explained why he thought it was this particular disease and what they had to do to prevent the others from getting it too.

"Look," Mike said, motioning with his hands, trying to get back the attention. "he's a doctor and knows what he's doing. He needs some tests to be a hundred per cent sure but until then we're shunned from port. He wouldn't say she had this disease if he wasn't certain. So I guess we have to take him seriously."

Kate bit her lip. This was not happening. It couldn't. She had been in close contact with this woman when she had entered the boat and later when she had helped her get onto the RHIB.

"How do we know we haven't already contacted it from her?" Kate asked a bit scared.

Mike took a deep breath and looked at Kate directly. "Howard is arranging tests for us all. We will all get vaccinated and when we're in or near the wardroom we're going to wear masks," Mike answered.

"Sir, wouldn't it be wise to get the Lieutenant up here? Bird could look after the woman for a while. I mean, if we're stuck out here anyway he'll need a break some time and someone else has to take over. Bird is second medic," Dutchy said looking around the group of people. "The Lieutenant could answer a lot of our questions. If we know what's going on we can keep the other sailors calm as well," he continued.

Mike had thought about that as well. Howard hadn't been too keen on leaving his patient but Dutchy had a good point. It seemed that Charge and Kate were more than a bit concerned and Lieutenant Howard was the one who could explain all the medical details a lot better than he ever could.

"Charge can you find Bird? Bring her to the wardroom and let Howard instruct her on what to do. Then you two come back here," Mike ordered.

"Aye sir," Charge said before he left the room.

"In the meantime we can start doing some logistics," Mike said to the two remaining sailors in the room.

"As soon as we've arranged everything we'll go back to port as close as we can. We'll need daily supplies brought to the ship and they'll collect all our waste. Kate, I want you to find out what we're still able to do while being in quarantine. I'd hate to waste twelve weeks. What kind of training can we offer our sailors and what do we need for that?" Mike started.

By the time Charge and Lieutenant Howard had come back Mike, Kate and Dutchy had gone through some protocols and made lists of what needed to be done. Kate thought it was a bit premature to do all this when there was still a chance they could be home tonight, but she said nothing; better to be prepared.

The thought of having to stay out at sea for twelve weeks frightened her enormously. The only way she was coping with it now was because she made herself believe it was all a very bad joke or one big training session. It all became reality again, however, when Charge walked back into the room, wearing a mask, and followed by a foul looking Lieutenant.

"I hope there's a good reason for dragging me away from my patient, Captain," Lieutenant Howard spat at Mike.

"Tim. Can I call you Tim?" Mike asked calmly.

"Timothy. My name is Timothy and I'd rather have you call me doctor," Timothy continued his annoyance.

"Well doctor, you are the one person on this ship who can tell us what we can expect medically. If you can answer our questions we can keep the other sailors calm. We need to know a few things about the woman. We also need to know exactly what we'll have to do to protect ourselves," Mike said.

Timothy realised his superiors were all trying to do their best and this situation wasn't their fault. He had just never expected to come across a case of TB and although he was a doctor he wasn't a specialist in this field. If a whole crew was going to rely on him for medical support he hoped he would get help from fleet medical to back him up.

"The woman, we don't have a name or age yet, is most certainly suffering from tuberculosis or TB as most people call it. She's in and out of consciousness and while conscious she keeps coughing, sometimes she coughs up blood. It's different from a pneumonia because her lungs sound clear," Timothy sighed.

"Although TB is contagious it's also a treatable disease. As soon as we get the right antibiotics I'll start her treatment. To protect ourselves we'll need to wear these masks for the time being," Timothy said as he put a box on the table, opened it and gave everyone a white mask.

"We'll all have to take antibiotics preventively and I'll take blood samples from each and every one to check if we've been contaminated," he continued.

Mike sighed. This was not what he had expected to go through on the first patrol but it looked like they were going to have to stay away a long time. Being away wasn't unusual but they had always had the opportunity to visit a port to let off some steam on shore.

"We'll all have to make the best of the next weeks. It's going to be hard but I know we'll get through this. We're a close family and I know we can all rely on each other," Mike tried out his pep talk.

After Mike made sure everyone understood the full implications he let the officers go and prepare for the briefing of the junior sailors. Timothy went back to the wardroom to see if Bird was doing OK. The medic seemed a little bit more relaxed but Mike was sure they hadn't heard the latest from him. They had a potential life threatening disease on board and the wardroom was not a suitable substitute for a hospital.

Dutchy had left just as calm as he had come in. He was the last person Mike expected trouble from. Charge was too busy with his work right now to think about problems that might eventually evolve into conspiracy theories. The only one Mike was really worried about was Kate.

She had been tired ever since she had come back on board. She was snappy and really seemed to have a problem with staying on board for the next three months. He'd better have a quiet talk with her before they went to tell the bad news to the others. The last thing he needed was a grumpy XO.

"Kate?" Mike asked after knocking softly on her door.

"Come in," Kate answered.

Kate couldn't think of a reason why Mike would want to talk to her, at least not professionally. They had just gone through a long meeting and everything that needed to be said was said so the only reason why he would want to come in for was to check up on her personally.

"Can we talk?" Mike asked while he closed the door of her cabin.

Kate knew that even if she didn't want to talk she soon would have to and Mike wouldn't give up until she had. With nowhere to run it was better to save the energy for something else so she sighed in a response and looked at him.

Mike came closer but he didn't say anything as if he didn't know what to say or where to start. Kate tried to lock eyes with him but he was too busy scanning her cabin stopping only when he came to a picture of Jim. Kate looked at it as well and picked it up as if to protect Jim from any harm Mike would give him.

"You didn't seem to be too happy about going into quarantine," Mike finally said.

Kate looked at him in disbelief. "Are you surprised about that? Who would be happy about going into quarantine?" she asked.

"No, sorry. That's not what I meant," Mike tried to correct himself.

Kate shrugged. "I can't stay in quarantine for three months. I need to go back to port and…"

"Nobody likes to be put in quarantine but we can't change that now. Come on Kate. You've worked on frigates. You've stayed on a ship for longer than three months. That's the life you like, isn't it?" Mike said, cutting her off mid-sentence.

Kate stood up and tried to pass Mike but he didn't let her so she turned around and faced her rack. "You don't understand. I can't stay here for three months. If you won't let me go I might consider swimming back or…"

Kate turned around again but moved so fast that she let the picture of Jim fall down on the ground. It glided close to Mike's feet. He bent down and picked it up. Instead of giving it back to her he placed it back down on her desk.

Mike wanted to give Kate a rational answer to her irrational threat to swim back to port. She would be court marshalled if she did. They wouldn't let her go home even if she did make it to land. It was far more likely a shark or crocodile or some other sea creature would attack her long before she reached land but all those thoughts were gone when he saw a white handkerchief with a gold ring laying on the desk.

"Is that the engagement ring?" he wondered out loud.

Why would she still have the ring when she was never going to marry the guy? She couldn't have given it back to Jim but his parents were present at the memorial. She could have given it back to them.

"Yes," was Kate's simple answer.

Mike looked at her, confused. "Why would you still have his ring?" he said out loud. "I mean I can understand you haven't had the time to give it back to his family but why would you bring it on board?" Mike said before he looked at Kate.

It was her turn to look at him confused. "That is none of your business but why wouldn't I?" she asked him.

"You weren't going to marry him. I would think you wanted to give the ring back to his parents and keep it in a safe place until you'd found time to do so," Mike answered.

"What gave you the idea I wasn't going to marry Jim?" Kate asked, astonished at his question.

"You did!" Mike answered.

"I did? I never said I wasn't going to marry him," Kate snapped.

Mike was totally confused now. When he had been at her place she most definitely had said she wasn't going to marry him. She had even said she could only see herself getting married to him, at least she had looked at him while she said it.

In all those weeks he had thought there was finally some hope to get back on track with their relationship.

"I don't remember exactly what I said, but what I meant to say was that I couldn't get married to Jim because…"

Kate stopped and closed her eyes.

"Because I didn't want to rush into a marriage and I couldn't wait months and prepare the perfect wedding. I'm not getting married while looking like a whale," she finished her sentence.

Mike didn't understand it. Kate was the last person he would compare with a whale so he laughed and shook his head.

"You…"

"I'm eight weeks pregnant Mike," Kate whispered.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: pregnant Kate = angry Mike**

Mike was angry. This was possibly the worst day of his life. Professionally he was grounded for the next weeks, not able to do much more than train his sailors while he wanted to do what he was paid for; actively protect Australia's border.

Grounded wasn't the only professional problem he had to deal with. Kate had lied to him and not just about one thing. She had just told him she was eight weeks pregnant which meant she should be off duty. Mike sniggered. Maybe that wasn't the main problem; they would all be on light duties so what was the difference?

Mike walked into his cabin and kicked the door shut so hard the wall shook. The difference was that Kate hadn't told him about her pregnancy before this patrol. She had actually told him she wasn't pregnant and to make it all worse she was pregnant by the guy who had fallen out of the sky, took over his girl and successfully wooed her into a marriage proposal.

It made it all too personal. Kate had told him she wasn't going to marry Jim and now, suddenly she was telling him she hadn't said that? She had given him the idea he was back in business with her, that after a period of mourning she would come back to him and marry _him_.

Mike was angry because he felt like a fool. He loved Kate, he still did, and he wanted nothing more than to be with her, but he could forget about that now. First of all they were stuck on this stupid ship for twelve weeks. During that time he couldn't do anything to win Kate back and secondly she was pregnant with another man's child and still in love with that man even though he wasn't alive anymore.

To top it all off he, the Captain of this ship, had to inform his superior about Kate's condition since he had pulled her off duty for the time being. Angrily he picked up the phone and almost barked:

"RO, get me Commander White!"

While Mike waited for the radio operator to get in touch with Navcom he tried to organise his thoughts. How in the world was he going to explain to Maxine that he had gone on a patrol with a pregnant XO?

"Mike," he heard the cheery voice of his friend. "I was about to call you. How is your patient doing? Do you already know more about her?" Maxine asked.

"I need to talk to you about something else," Mike said uneasily.

There was no response so Mike cleared his throat.

"It's about Lieutenant McGregor," he started.

"She's pregnant," he finished when there came no reply.

"She is?" Maxine exclaimed.

Mike was surprised she didn't sound angry or even surprised about it.

"Yes," he answered.

"How is she?" Maxine wondered, sounding like she was about to congratulate Kate if she could and wander off into girl talk.

"How is she?" Mike spat out. Irritated. "She's eight weeks pregnant!"

"And she just told you?" Maxine asked.

"Yes, she _finally_ told me!" Mike emphasised. Kate must have known it for weeks and probably only had told him now there was no escaping anymore.

"You sound angry. Mike, I understand the situation isn't ideal and you would rather come back in and deal with it here, but she hasn't done something wrong, has she?" Maxine tried to calm him down.

"She should never have been on this ship!" Mike exclaimed. Maxine certainly didn't understand the full problem here.

"Oh come on Mike. She probably just found out herself. Anything can still happen in those early stages of pregnancy. What did you expect? I hope you didn't sound too upset when she told you. You did congratulate her, didn't you?" Maxine asked happily. She was clearly taking sides without knowing the full picture.

"She must have known for at least four weeks now," Mike told her as if that would make Kate look bad. "She could have found a moment to tell one of us before we went out on patrol," he added.

Mike was really angry. Kate's situation wasn't the worst he had to deal with right now but it was one that could have been avoided if Kate had been honest from the start. She had told him she wasn't pregnant when there were rumours going around and that was about four weeks ago. Why would she have lied to him?

"Listen Mike, as a woman, when you find out you're pregnant you want to tell a few people the good news starting with the father, the family and somewhere at the end of the list comes your boss. You don't tell your boss until you know for certain," Maxine answered his question unknowingly.

It still felt like a huge betrayal and Kate was certainly not back in his good books yet.

"You were never supposed to stay out long so I suppose Kate would have come in somewhere this week or the next to tell the good news. I think I was about ten weeks pregnant before I told the Brass about my pregnancy," Maxine rattled on.

"Yeah, but you weren't the XO on a patrol boat!" Mike interrupted her.

"No I wasn't, but pregnancy isn't an illness that stops you from making decisions and at eight weeks it's not physically stopping you from doing your job either. Kate is a sensible woman. She knows what she's doing," Maxine defended Kate.

Mike didn't know what to say other than that he still believed Kate should have told them sooner. Mike wished he could say something about his personal feelings as well but they didn't matter, not right now.

"Do you know if Jim is the father?" Maxine asked after a long pause.

Why did she have to make it personal after all? Was it going to make any difference who the father was?

"I didn't ask her but they were going to get married so I guess it's his," he answered.

"So, Kate loses her fiancé, finds out she's pregnant and to make things worse she's stuck on a patrol boat for twelve weeks with a woman on board with a serious illness," Maxine said sympathetically. "God, I hope you didn't make her life even worse by saying something stupid," Maxine threatened.

"I pulled her off active duty," Mike answered, knowing it had been a hasty decision and would be revoked.

"Then you can reinstate her and put her on light duties," Maxine snapped.

Mike sighed. Kate had done something stupid and he was copping a lecture.

"We will discuss this later but first we need to talk about the woman you picked up," Maxine continued towards another subject.

"We still don't know who she is. She's Caucasian, about twenty-five years old but where she came from we have no clue," Mike answered with a sigh. He was still angry about Kate but there were other things to worry about as well.

"Has she said anything at all?" Maxine asked.

Maxine was able to sound professional and had moved on to the next subject. For the time being Mike tried to leave his feelings and thoughts alone and do the same.

"She's mumbling. Nothing understandable," he answered. The woman was still a big mystery and as long as she was in and out of consciousness she would stay a mystery.

"Try and find out as much as you can. The Feds are breathing down my neck for more information. Lieutenant Howard has had contact with the hospital and ordered a lot of tests and equipment. I had a phone call about an hour ago that it's all ready to be picked up. I want you to come to port, pick it up, let the Lieutenant do the test, hand them over to the transfer team and then I want you to go back out at sea, not too far away, but I can't have you block the harbour. Oh and talk to Kate. She needs all the love and support she can get right now," Maxine finally ordered.

Before Mike could give a proper answer she disconnected and left Mike alone with his thoughts. Maybe he should check up on what was going on in the wardroom.

With a little detour past the bridge to leave some orders to sail to port Mike went down to the wardroom where he found Bird looking after the woman.

"Do we have a name already?" Mike asked cheerfully.

Bird smiled at him but shook her head. "Sorry sir. I did start calling her Sarah for the time being. It feels strange to keep calling her 'woman' or 'girl'. Doctor Howard said she will be fine as soon as the medicine starts working," Bird said, sounding impressed.

"That's good," Mike said. "Where is Doctor Howard?" he asked, noticing he wasn't in the wardroom.

"He's checking the X and said he would ret…" Bird started to explain but then the door opened and Timothy Howard walked in.

"She's perfectly fine sir. A bit stressed about the situation but that's normal. I guess I would be stressed too if I was pregnant and stuck on a ship," Howard stated before picking up a file and scribbling down his notes.

"Pregnant?" Bird asked sparkling while she stepped aside for doctor Howard to check on 'Sarah'.

"Anything to report Bird?" Howard asked, quickly looking at the young seaman.

"No sir, nothing has changed," she answered.

The two men started talking about the woman and soon Bird found herself being totally ignored. They didn't even respond when she first asked them to be excused and then told them she was going for a brew.

Bird walked into the galley where she found Kate standing, leaning against the sink, rinsing out a cup.

"Ma'am," Bird said enthusiastically. "I just heard about you," Bird looked at Kate's stomach and smiled.

Kate's jaw dropped and her face turned pale.

"I'm so happy for you ma'am. Getting a little baby. That's awesome!" Bird exclaimed.

Kate walked towards Bird and tugged her at her arm. "Could you keep your voice down? Not everybody needs to know," she hissed.

Bird placed her hand over her mouth and softly shrieked.

"I'm so sorry ma'am," she almost whispered.

Kate dragged Bird out of the galley towards the ship's office. There she closed the door and looked at Bird intensively.

"I guess you heard about me down in the wardroom but I would appreciate it if you would keep this piece of information to yourself. If and when I want to I'll share it with others and that would work a lot better if you don't broadcast it all over the ship," Kate said threateningly.

"Should I remind you not to repeat confidential medical information you're privy to? You're not given the information to then spread it around. Not even when you, personally, are excited or thrilled or sad. Can I trust you on that?" Kate asked.

Bird had gotten the message long before they had reached the office and looked apologetically towards Kate.

"Yes. I really didn't mean to do that ma'am," Bird apologised again.

Kate sighed and faced the white board.

"It's not your fault I'm in a bad mood. Forget about it and just…" Kate waved with her hands, not knowing what else she could say that really was of importance right now.

Bird didn't know what to say to the older woman but felt sorry for her. Sarah was the reason why they couldn't go home and that alone was something to feel bad about but being pregnant as well was something she didn't even want to think about.

"Are you feeling OK?" Bird asked, trying to make up for her mistake.

Kate waved some more with her hands and shrugged. "I'm not sick and Lieutenant Howard checked my vitals and everything is in order. I wished they would spend their time on more important matters like finding out who the girl really is or where she comes from."

Bird started to smile. "She was awake about fifteen minutes ago. Not awake enough for me to ask her questions but she mumbled again. She said something that sounded like 'an forfeit'. Do you think she's Australian ma'am?" Bird wanted to know.

This was news! Hopefully the woman would start to say more over the next few days. Kate started to get really excited.

"Did you tell doctor Howard?" Kate asked before she opened the door to leave the room.

"Not yet. The Captain came back and they talked. That's when I left," Bird answered.

Kate walked outside and was about to go to the wardroom when she remembered she was off duty and didn't want to see or talk to Mike for a while.

"The Captain," Kate asked curiously. "How did he sound?"

Bird shrugged. "Not any different from other days," she answered.

Kate nodded and let Bird pass her. "You go and tell them what you just told me. I'm going to my cabin," she said.

Kate entered her cabin and closed the door. Stuck on a ship for twelve weeks, pregnant and without a job. Could it get any worse?


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Sarah = Regina**

"I'm not an invalid. If it's a training session I should come out and supervise the situation," Kate said as she followed Mike up towards the bridge.

"You've made your point X, but Dutchy is leading the session. End of discussion," Mike replied.

"Why are you doing this?" Kate asked.

She didn't care if she openly criticised the CO in front of other sailors; she had had enough of his behaviour. She tried to do her job properly and all Mike did was to stop her from doing so. She had made a roster for different exercises they could perform. Today was an exercise out in the RHIBS and while she had done all the preparations she was not allowed to go out.

"You want me to broadcast the reason, hmm?" Mike asked threateningly.

Kate stopped in her tracks, shocked. There were only three other people on this ship who knew about her pregnancy, the reason Mike used every time to stop her from actively doing her job. If it was possible Kate wanted to keep it that way a little bit longer. She would tell the others when she was ready for it.

"I thought so," Mike said, knowing he had won this round. "Now go and relieve RO. He can go straight to the boarding room," Mike ordered.

Kate sighed. For five days now the only time Mike talked to her was when he was giving her orders or giving her information which, of course, was always work related. Why couldn't he be glad for her or at least supportive?

"What's up with the boss and the X?" Dutchy whispered to Charge.

"It beats me. She must have done something really stupid for him to be so aggressive," Charge whispered back.

Kate could hear the two sailors but ignored them. She hadn't done anything wrong. Mike would have to explain his reasons sooner or later. He couldn't mention her pregnancy but he was the one who would have to come up with a reason to keep her away from the action.

Instead of doing something exciting Kate would be stuck babysitting Sarah for the next four hours and there was nothing she could do about it.

"RO you are…" Kate opened the door to the wardroom and walked in, expecting RO to be quietly sitting with the patient, but instead he was sitting on the other side of the room with a book in his hands.

"You are to go to the boarding room," Kate said slowly, amazed at what she saw.

RO wasn't only wearing the mask they were required to wear when they went near Sarah, but he also wore a medical jacket, medical gloves and had a cap on his head. He looked like a surgeon about to go perform surgery.

"What is wrong with you?" Kate asked while she quickly checked Sarah.

RO ignored her question and put his book down and was about to remove all his unnecessary protection.

"Oh I'm glad," he stated.

Kate had seen RO being inconsiderate before but this was the top! Kate wondered if he had checked on Sarah at all during the time he had been responsible for her.

"RO, wait!" Kate said while she closed the door and blocked it so RO couldn't leave the room.

"What's wrong with you?" she asked again.

"I'm protecting myself, ma'am," came the simple answer. "This woman has TB and I want to make sure she won't contaminate me."

Kate looked up to the ceiling. Doctor Howard had explained that wearing a mask was sufficient to protect yourself but RO was terrified he would contract the disease anyway.

"There's a woman in this room RO. A woman who has feelings. What if she had seen you like this?" Kate asked.

"Don't worry X, she slept the whole time I was here. Now, do you think there's time for me to go and check with Doctor Howard before I go?" RO said while he stripped off the white jacket and rolled up the sleeve of his uniform.

"You see this spot keeps itching," he said as he showed her a red spot on his arm.

They had all been injected with some fluid. Doctor Howard had explained that if they had contracted TB it would become a hard spot on the arm and meant they were producing anti-cells. If that didn't happen they hadn't contracted TB.

"Doctor Howard is off duty at the moment and we're not disturbing him," Kate said clearly before RO would demand to see the man.

"Let me see it," Kate said while she grabbed RO's arm and felt if the red spot had become hard.

"There's nothing wrong with it," she said with a smile, hoping it would settle RO down before he would wake up Sarah.

"With all due respect ma'am, you're not a doctor. I want Doctor Howard's opinion," RO protested.

Kate pulled him out of the wardroom by the arm and stood in front of him.

"Now listen. Doctor Howard has been on duty for a long time. He's entitled to some rest. Your arm is fine and there's no need to disturb him. Go down to the boarding room and stop fussing. That's an order," Kate said sternly.

RO was about to protest again but stopped when she looked at him with wide eyes.

"Yes ma'am," he said defeated.

Kate reapplied her mask before she went back inside. She would much rather be out on the RHIB while she still could. At the end of her pregnancy there would be enough time for paperwork and sitting behind a desk or watching sick people but at almost ten weeks she wanted to do more than that.

The room smelled like it had been recently disinfected. Kate shook her head. RO must have been pretty busy while he was supposed to be watching Sarah. Kate put down the items she had brought in with her and sat down next to the young woman.

Sarah's notes were hanging at the end of her bed. This was the first time in two days that Kate had been on watch again so she wanted to read what had happened to her in the meantime.

With the notes in her hand she looked at Sarah and to Kate's surprise the woman looked back at her.

"Hey," Kate whispered.

The woman turned around and looked around the wardroom.

"The other man," she said, turning her face back to Kate.

"Doctor Howard?" Kate asked, thinking she was looking for him.

"No, you called him RO? He was here before you came," the woman explained.

Kate smiled and shook her head.

"No, RO has gone for now," Kate answered. "My name is Kate. We don't know yours," she said pulling up a chair so she could sit down.

"Regina. Regina Simpson but everyone calls me Reg," she told Kate.

Finally they had a name and soon she had some more basic information about Reg. Kate told her about the TB and where she was. Kate wondered if she really understood all the information but that didn't matter at this moment. It was so exciting to be able to talk to the woman.

"I have been awake for a while but RO? Is his name really RO?" Reg asked. "Well, he was a bit weird so I pretended to be asleep."

Kate nodded.

"He's our radio operator that's why we call him RO. I'm sorry about him. He is a bit eccentric but he's a good man. I hope he didn't offend you," Kate worried.

Reg shook her head and tried to sit up.

"No, he didn't. He was reading his book most of the time," she answered. "Uhm Kate, when do we arrive in Australia?"

Kate shrugged and wondered if it was a good idea to tell Reg the bad news. She really sounded hopeful when she asked about the return and Kate didn't want to stop the good mood she was in but at the same time she couldn't lie to her. Kate looked at Reg to see if she could anticipate how she would take the news but all she could see was a hopeful look.

"I really need to go home," Reg pleaded.

"We can't," Kate sighed. "We're placed in quarantine."

Reg was quiet for a while and Kate didn't know what to say. She felt sorry for the girl who probably had tried to go home, only to end up in the middle of the ocean, sick, before being picked up by a warship.

"Can I get you something to drink?" Kate asked after a few minutes.

"A cup of tea?" Reg asked forlornly.

Kate nodded and stood up.

"I'm going to the galley and get you something. Is it alright to leave you on your own for a few minutes?" she asked.

Reg gave a simple nod and Kate left. Not much later she returned with two steaming cups of tea. There were so many questions Kate wanted to ask Reg. She had another eleven weeks to ask all of them but which question should she ask first?

"You have been mumbling a lot the past few days," Kate said when she sat across from Reg again.

Reg frowned and started fidgeting with a piece of the blanket she had wrapped around her legs.

"Nothing we could really understand. Bird, our youngest member on board, thinks it sounded like numbers and letters," Kate explained.

Reg shrugged and avoided looking at Kate. "I don't know," she said.

"It doesn't really matter right now," Kate tried to ease her. "The main thing is that you're awake now and we can talk. You'll remember what it was."

"Yeah," Reg replied absentmindedly.

"I'm sorry Kate, but I'm still really tired. Would you mind if I went back to sleep?" she asked.

Kate shook her head. "Of course not. I'll be here when you need me," Kate answered.

The room became quiet again and to Kate's surprise Reg fell asleep pretty soon. For a second she had thought it had been a tactic so she didn't have to talk but maybe she had to revise that idea. Kate picked up her book and started reading. The idea of babysitting the patient could do with a revision as well. It wasn't so bad after all.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: troubles at the mainland = worries out at sea**

The quarantine regulations affected everyone on the ship. There were no trips to the local pub or nice pool nights or going out on dates. The first week there had been no problem. Everyone on the Hammersley had been away at sea for a week, or sometimes longer, before. They kept themselves busy with work but after a week it became clearer that the sailors needed something to distract them from their everyday life.

The junior sailors' mess was transformed into the local hang-out place for when you were off duty. Beer rations were up scaled to two nights a week and small competitions were invented to keep everyone happy.

One thing that became a daily routine was watching the news together. It was one way of keeping up to date with what happened on shore.

After three weeks at sea Charge, 2Dads, Bird, Mike and Kate were off duty and waiting for the news to start. Together with ten other sailors they had crammed themselves in front of the small television set.

"Can someone turn up the volume a bit?" Bird asked when she heard the intro start.

"Oh Birdie. What's wrong with your ears?" 2Dads teased as he gave her a friendly punch.

"Nothing!" she replied defensively.

There was some political news from Canberra to start with but then a picture of the naval base was shown and everyone's attention increased as they listened to what was going on.

"_New evidence has come up in the bombing which killed two brave men six weeks ago. A man in a boat attempted to blow up the naval base in Cairns. The man was stopped by the navy but they were too late to defuse the bomb which blew up the boat with two navy personnel on board. Now, six weeks later, the main suspect in the case, a woman in her thirties, claims this attack wasn't the only one planned. Police informed us the woman refuses to cooperate any further after she informed them of a possible other threat,"_ the news anchor said, looking directly into the camera and thus at the viewers.

Everyone started to talk at the same time. This news was not what anyone expected. Swain's death was still so fresh and it brought up a lot of emotions. The news coverage continued but through all the commotion it was hard to follow what was being said.

"Could you all shut up for a moment? I'd like to hear what else they're telling us," Charge yelled.

Not a sailor dared to say another word and everyone looked at the small screen where the news anchor looked over her shoulder towards her own television screen. There was a male reporter with a microphone in his hands standing in front of a large building.

"_Jared, you're at the police station in Cairns. What can you tell us? Is this new threat serious? How reliable is this suspect?"_ the news anchor asked the reporter.

The image of the reporter filled the full television screen. The man pressed his ear while the news anchor asked him the questions. He nodded before he looked straight into the camera and started answering.

"_Yes, I'm at the police station. The woman who was arrested has been cooperating in the past weeks. She provided the police with lots of information which made it possible to arrest several others but after she let information slip about another threat she refused to talk any further,"_ the reporter said.

The camera zoomed out a bit and showed another man standing next to the reporter.

"_This is Senior Sergeant Detective Millar who has been in charge of this case. Detective Millar how serious is the threat this woman has made?"_ the reporter asked the police cop.

"_We don't know what the threat involves yet. We believe either the suspect never intended to share this information with us or that she knows of the existence of another threat but doesn't know the full details herself. She has given us enough information to make us believe she's reliable but since she's refused to talk to us any further it's became really hard to find out more about this new threat,"_ the cop explained.

"_What can you tell us about this new threat?"_ the reporter asked.

"_All we know is that the bombing at the harbour was the tip of the iceberg. The people responsible had made a dirty bomb with existing chemicals. It was some sort of a trial to see how quickly the authorities would react. We have a fair idea where the new threat comes from but we can't give out that information at this stage. We urge people to contact the local police if they see, hear or know anything about chemicals being produced,"_ Detective Millar answered.

He went on to give a phone number which could be used to contact the police and then the news anchor continued with the other news items as if nothing special had happened at all; but on board Hammersley everyone was quiet.

"This isn't happening," Charge said.

He was the first one who dared to speak. He was still pretty calm but inside he was boiling mad.

"That bitch knew this all along. She nearly killed Dutchy," he started to get fired up. "Twice," he added, thinking about the first time where Madelaine had sent out Dutchy into an undercover operation while she knew his cover had been blown.

"Charge, come on, mind your language," Mike tried to calm him down.

"I would love to go to that police station and drag her out and question her myself," Charge went on as if he hadn't heard Mike.

"Yeah! I'm with you. Why drop the piece of information and then stop talking?" 2Dads wondered.

"Can you believe it? They said Swain's death was a trial bombing. We honoured the good man for his bravery and suddenly he's nothing more than a trial case," Charge said in total disgust.

"Nobody is questioning Swain's death," Mike said as he patted Charge's shoulder.

"Well, he certainly is a nobody to miss Cow. How can she live with herself. She worked with us for months. She knew Swain and still she did nothing to prevent Swain from dying," Charge protested loudly.

Kate stood up and walked towards the hallway. She could understand Charge's anger and frustration. She was feeling exactly the same way but he was forgetting one major detail in his frustration.

"There were two men killed in that bombing. Jim's life was sacrificed by that stupid bitch as well," Kate blurted out, not able to hide her emotions.

Charge didn't know what he had done wrong. Of course he knew Jim had died too. He never denied that and how was it possible for the strongest X he knew to end up in tears over a news item?

"I'm sorry ma'am," he said although he wondered if Kate had heard him. She stormed away, leaving them all wondering what had just happened.

"I'll go and see what's going on," Mike said, getting up and followed in the direction Kate had gone.

There weren't many places on this ship she could hide but he was going to start with the obvious places first. When he knocked on her cabin door there was no reaction but she wasn't in the galley or out on the deck so he went back there and quietly opened the door and peeked around.

When Mike entered the room he could see Kate sitting on the edge of her rack crying. She looked up when she saw him but didn't move or say anything.

"Oh Kate," Mike said apologetically. He felt sorry for her. "They didn't mean anything by it."

"I know," she whispered. "I miss Swain too and I can understand why Charge is angry. It's just… It's just that in the past three weeks people have talked about Swain and how they miss him. Hardly anyone talks about Jim," she sobbed.

"Swain was a good friend to all of us," Mike tried to explain. He picked up a clean tissue and handed it to Kate. In the past few weeks he had never taken the time to see the situation from her side, but now he could understand how lonely Kate felt right now.

"Yeah and I was the only one who was friendly to Jim," Kate fired at him.

"That's not true," Mike defended himself. Maybe she was right. Jim was respected by the crew but he was never really included in anything.

"That's what it feels like. Like I've got to defend Jim's pride. I can't even blame the others. Swain was their friend and colleague and they're doing nothing wrong by talking about him," Kate had to admit.

"But you miss Jim even more because of it," Mike comforted Kate.

"Yes," she sighed.

Mike felt somewhat guilty for leaving Kate to deal with her feelings on her own. As far as he knew he hadn't done anything to aggravate her but he hadn't been very supportive either. Swain was an everyday topic of discussion and as much as it helped everyone coping with his death there were very few people who would talk about Jim. Kate must have felt pretty lonely and was crawling back into her shell.

"I'm sorry," he apologised.

"What for?" Kate asked blowing her nose and then throwing the dirty tissue in the bin.

"For not being a good friend," Mike answered. "and for misinterpreting your words," he added almost inaudibly.

"My words?" Kate asked in total confusion. What was he talking about? Had he said something wrong about Jim that she couldn't remember? What had she said for Mike to misinterpret?

"You see, when I was staying at your place you said something about marriage and Jim and well, I put two and two together and came to five," Mike said laughingly at his own little joke.

"I don't understand," Kate said. She couldn't at all remember what she had said that day and why was he telling her this now? She had left the junior sailors' mess because she felt sad about Jim but this wasn't about him at all. This was about Mike and her.

"When you told me you still had Jim's ring because you were always going to marry him I was surprised. I thought you had said something else to me about marrying Jim. I thought you said you couldn't marry him. Full stop. What you meant was that you couldn't marry him at that moment because you were pregnant and didn't want to look like a whale. Remember you said that?" Mike asked.

He looked embarrassed and Kate took a minute to remember the two scenes he had just described. Could it be he had never said anything about Jim because he was jealous? Kate looked at Mike and decided to go along with this conversation to see where it would end.

"Yes I remember that, but how could you think I didn't want to marry Jim?" she finally said.

"Well," Mike blushed. He pulled his hand through his hair and smiled nervously. "You continued by saying you could only marry," he paused a second, "and then you stopped talking and looked at me. I thought you were trying to say you could only marry me."

Kate let out a loud laugh. Now she knew Mike was jealous of Jim but she also thought he had moved on. She had heard rumours about Mike and Maxine and they were either lovers or very close friends but there was something between them. The last thing she expected was for Mike to still have feelings for her.

"Talk about misinterpreting. How could you get it so wrong?" she asked, trying to stop laughing when she saw Mike's uncomfortable look.

"I don't know," he shrugged.

Mike wanted to tell Kate how he had come to his conclusion but she was laughing so hard he didn't know if it was because she was laughing about the situation or simply at him and his foolish notions. She clearly didn't return his feelings.

If Jim hadn't come around he would never be in this situation. He had asked her once before if Jim was the reason for their break up and she had said he wasn't but he had never gotten the actual reason. They were on speaking terms and maybe, if he asked nicely, she would give him an answer now.

"I want to ask you something. Something I can't figure out on my own," he softly asked while he created a bit more distance between them.

"What is it?" Kate wondered. The laughter had cleared up some of the sad feelings and if there was a chance to clear up any other misinterpretation she was up for it.

"Why did you break off our relationship?" Mike blurted out before he could stop himself from asking.

He felt bad about it the minute he saw Kate swallowing and twitching on her rack. She probably hadn't expected this question.

"I didn't believe in it anymore," she answered, not daring to even look at Mike. Kate felt uneasy and as a result her cheeks were burning up.

"That's it? You broke it off because you didn't believe in it anymore," Mike said with a raised voice.

He couldn't believe his ears! It was a reason but not enough of an explanation after the long relationship they had.

Kate exhaled at Mike's outburst. She had never expected him to take it well but he was angry. She had to explain it a bit more. "I was scared, tired, angry, frustrated. I couldn't do it anymore," Kate added, sounding frustrated. "The only thing I'm sorry about is that I didn't tell you. I couldn't."

Kate folded her hands and fidgeted with her fingers before she quickly looked at Mike. Her answers hurt him, she could see that, and this probably wasn't the right time for this conversation but not finishing it was far more hurtful in the long run. She had to fight her way through the awkwardness and continue.

"Why?" Mike demanded to know. His voice was harsh but he didn't care. Kate had given up and then easily moved on into a new relationship. Jim had died a heroic death, just like Swain, but Mike couldn't believe Jim had nothing to do with Kate's decision to break up.

"I still had feelings for you. If I would come near you, you could have easily talked me around," Kate whispered.

Mike was amazed. It sounded like she was apologising for not trying harder. How could she break off a good relationship if she still had feelings for him? He just didn't understand it and her answers led to more questions than answers.

"It's not that simple to explain," Kate sighed, looking at the ceiling.

"We still have nine weeks left on this ship. Is that time enough for you?" Mike said angrily.

Kate stood up and looked down at Mike. "If you're going to be like this I'll pick another day in those nine weeks to tell you."

"I just don't understand," Mike said through gritted teeth.

Kate felt her heart pulsing and she needed to get her breathing under control before she could explain her actions to Mike.

"When we first met, years ago, I was head over heels in love with you. Then you left," she started out slowly, pacing up and down her cabin.

"But that was years ago. Does that have anything to do with why you broke it off?" Mike interrupted her.

Kate stopped pacing, shrugged and pulled up the chair to sit in front of Mike. He couldn't get away without knocking her over but at the same time she could flee if he was making it too hard on her.

"I want to explain it to you so you can understand why I did it. Please let me tell it my way," Kate insisted.

"When I was posted on Hammersley and found out you were the CO I hated it. I didn't want to be anywhere near you. I was still angry that you had left me and had learned to vanish into anonymity. Well, as you know, I changed and realised I loved working here so I never left."

Mike smiled and nodded. He remembered how she gave back the recommendation he had slaved over.

"We worked well together but that all changed when Jim came around. He turned you into a green-eyed monster," Kate said, thinking back to all those jealous stares she had copped while Jim and she were kissing.

"You're talking about a few years ago now, aren't you?" Mike clarified.

"Yes, but you know. The jealousy made me see you still had feelings for me. Jim saw it too and he saw something I couldn't see yet. He saw I still had feelings for you too. It took us another year before we actually got back together again," Kate continued.

Kate took a little break and looked around her cabin. Her emotions had calmed and she could continue without any problem.

"When you were promoted to Commander we could finally act on our feelings. Our blitz relationship lasted a full twelve hours. Great twelve hours but that was it. You came back to Hammersley and although it was meant for a short period of time it started to look like a permanent placement to me. You didn't do anything to get back to Navcom. You enjoyed being the CO and being out at sea and you never gave me the impression you were keen on having a real relationship with me. It took a near death experience for you to realise I even existed," Kate accused him.

"That's not true!" Mike defended himself.

"That's how I felt, Mike," Kate said looking intently at him. "I had given up on you but I was willing to give you one last chance. Not that we could do much because we were still waiting for a new CO. I thought we were going to make it this time; hoped is a better word, and then I got my knock-back and you had to stay on as CO for another twelve months," Kate explained.

Mike could hear the pain and irritation in her voice. He could understand it so well because it was exactly how he had felt. He took her hands in his own and caressed the top of her hands with his thumbs.

"Kate, I was working on that. I was not going to let us wait another year!" he exclaimed, trying to look into her eyes.

"I know you went to Fleet Command. I know you threatened to resign, to give up your whole career," Kate told him.

"Because you're worth it Kate," Mike tried to make that clear. Why couldn't she see that?

"You don't know that. We've never been together long enough to know what's in store for us. I couldn't let you throw away your life for me," Kate said, pulling her hands back from his grip.

"So you decided for me?" Mike asked angrily. She had never given him a chance to show how serious he was.

"I decided for myself. Have you ever thought how I would feel if you had given up everything to find out it wasn't working between us? You would have lost your job, I probably would have lost mine. You've been in the navy for thirty years. It is a very important part of your life. You may or may not have rearranged your priorities but it would always be a very important part," Kate explained.

She couldn't have lived with herself if they would have lost everything. Mike only wanted to see the nice picture in which they lived happily ever after but she wasn't so sure that was going to be reality.

"You are the most important person in the world!" Mike exclaimed. He stood up and wanted to leave but Kate wouldn't move.

"I can't be your number one without there being a number two," Kate threw at him.

"So again, you decided for me," Mike said defeated. He wanted to leave but sat down on her rack again instead.

"I couldn't see myself waiting another year. I didn't want to wait another year," Kate said quietly. "I've seen you. You chose the navy the first time around and the second time around you did nothing to get back to me. I would be the one you would resent and it would break up any relationship we would have. I was scared I would lose everything," Kate said, at the end, her voice almost inaudible.

Mike didn't know what else to say. They had a major disagreement on what would or could have happened in the future. Since then she had moved on with Jim and he had gotten her pregnant. Jim wasn't around anymore but could she see a future for them now he was gone?

"Do you still have feelings for me now?" Mike asked, afraid to hear the answer.

"It's not the same as a few months ago," Kate answered tactfully. She couldn't break his heart completely by saying she had no romantic feeling for him anymore, but she respected him as a friend and wouldn't want to lose that if she didn't have to.

"I still love you Kate and I want to help you out in the next months. Will you let me do that?" Mike asked.

Kate smiled and put her hand protectively on her belly. "You're a friend and I'll respect you but I hope you'll understand that I can't think of loving someone else right now. The only other person who I could love is growing inside me," she answered.

"Almost twelve weeks," he said, remembering how far along she was in her pregnancy.

"That's right," Kate answered. "I'll need to tell the others soon. I might start showing in the next week or so," Kate confided in him.

Mike was glad to see a proud Kate standing in front of him. She looked so different from a few minutes ago. Emotions had run high but in the end it was better for both that they had this conversation. Hopefully more would follow in the next few weeks and it would be good too to tell the others she was pregnant. They could do with some good news.

Mike stood up just before Kate did the same. She let him pass her and let her hand linger on his arm while he walked towards the door. He was about to leave her cabin but then he turned around.

"Take a rest. I'll tell the others you're fine. I'll see you tomorrow morning on the bridge. Good night."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: deserted island + new news = new worries**

"Ten, nine, eight, seven, six," Dutchy counted back. "Come on slackers. Five, four, three, two and the last one. Good," he praised the sailors who were doing push-ups.

The Hammersley had found an uninhabited island where the crew was allowed to go on shore. For the past week they had performed several training exercises from camping out in the bush, to combat training and physical exercises.

Most sailors were worn out but happy to get off the ship for more than a few hours. Mike had promised that after today's session they would have a beach party plus barbecue before they had to go back to Cairns to resupply the ship.

"OK. Everyone, listen up. The last thing we're going to do today is an endurance test. The CO and I have set up two lines and you'll have to run between them. Male sailors will do twenty lapses female sailors fifteen," Dutchy said as he showed them the improvised running field.

"Can't we have a five minute break?" RO asked, heaving for breath.

"Don't be a wimp," Dutchy laughed. "To make you happy the CO and I will join you," Dutchy added.

A few wolf whistles were heard as a compliment for their offer. Everyone lined up to get ready for the start.

"Some people are so lucky," RO complained while he looked at the Hammersley which was floating not far away.

"I guess you're talking about the good doctor and the X," 2Dads said laughingly. "Even if she was here on the beach she wouldn't have to do anything other than to hold the stopwatch. No way the CO is going to let a pregnant woman run," he added.

RO sighed and shook his head. Dutchy sounded the start signal and everyone started running. RO was still looking at the Hammersley and grunted: "I was talking about Doctor Howard."

"Come on RO," the CO yelled. "Start moving!" 

Kate walked into the wardroom and forced a smile on her face when she saw Doctor Howard. She still couldn't get what the man was doing in the navy. He was a great doctor but for that you didn't need to be in the navy.

"Ah, Lieutenant McGregor," Doctor Howard greeted her.

In the past six weeks she had tried to explain to him he could call her Kate but to no avail. The man would smile, nod, and then call her by her rank again. Why or what was going on with him she couldn't figure out.

What Kate did know was that he had never wanted to be at a patrol boat in the first place. He only was a temporarily replacement for Swain until there was a Petty Officer available and he did nothing to conceal his dislike of being stuck on the Hammersley.

If Howard could, he would complain about the situation every day. The wardroom was not well enough equipped, he could do nothing more than band aid care. The fact that they had a critically ill patient on board wasn't good enough for him. He obviously missed the rush of a hospital. The fact that Kate was now fourteen weeks pregnant wasn't much of a challenge for him either.

"I'm still waiting for Doctor Sheppard to come online," Doctor Howard said.

He was working behind a laptop in a corner of the wardroom and only quickly looked around when Kate entered.

Kate didn't mind waiting for a bit. She had all the time in the world and since every other sailor was down at the beach there was nobody to come in with questions or demands.

"She'll come online. I'll bet she's caught up with another patient," Kate said, relaxed. There was no reason to get irritated. She was glad enough Navcom had arranged for a midwife to supervise her pregnancy from a distance.

"I wished she would hurry up. I've got more things to do," Doctor Howard muttered underneath his breath.

He kept staring at the screen as if it was going to help. Kate tried to hold back a chuckle at the scene in front of her. To not burst out in laughter she looked around to occupy her mind. On Doctor Howard's desk were a few folders on which he had been working. One of them was hers and the other was Regina Simpson's.

Remembering a conversation she had with Bird about Regina a few days ago Kate picked up the file curiously. Bird had told her that Regina had been murmuring a lot of strange things when she was brought on board six weeks ago. In the beginning they didn't make much sense but later on the words had become more clear.

Whatever Regina had said was still a mystery but Bird had told her she had written it all down in Regina's file. Kate wanted to have a look at it to see if she could make sense out of it but her movements were detected by Doctor Howard who then quickly walked over and grabbed the file from her hands.

"Patient confidentiality," he snarled.

Kate shrugged. She had read the file a few times when she was babysitting Regina. She had even contributed to it. She couldn't argue with Doctor Howard about the confidentiality but she couldn't help but feel a bit hypocritical about it.

Her musings were disturbed by an incoming Skype call. Kate was asked to sit next to Doctor Howard while she was asked all kinds of medical questions. Howard took her blood pressure and, with the instructions of the midwife, found the uterus. He described everything he could feel so the midwife could determine what was going on.

"It sounds and looks good as far as I can tell," Doctor Sheppard said with a smile. "Now, did you get a Doppler's device the last time you were in Cairns?" she asked.

"A what?" Kate asked, not knowing what the doctor meant.

"I did," Doctor Howard answered as if he was criticised and to prove it he showed her the small ultrasound device.

"Good!" Doctor Sheppard said pleased. "It's very simple to use. Turn it on and place it on the lower abdomen. You should hear the heartbeat of the baby," she instructed.

Kate lay down on the table again while Doctor Howard tried to find the heartbeat of her little baby. When he finally did she started to smile. It was the first time she had ever heard it but it sounded so wonderful. It made it all real.

"I see the mother-to-be enjoyed that little experience. I think we can safely say everything is going to plan and we don't need to see each other for another three weeks. If there are any questions don't hesitate to contact me," Doctor Sheppard said before she said her goodbye and signed off.

Kate got dressed again and waited at the door opening to see what Doctor Howard was going to do next. They were the only ones left on the ship but suddenly 2Dads and Bird appeared in the hallway.

"Hello X," Bird chirped.

"We're here to pick up the food for the barbecue," 2Dads explained.

Kate nodded and looked back into the wardroom.

"If you want to go to the beach and have something to eat it's fine with me," she said to Doctor Howard.

"But ma'am, you'll be all alone!" Bird protested when she heard what Kate said.

Kate shrugged. "That's not a problem. I don't want to eat too much red meat anyway and too much sunshine isn't good for me either. I'll look after the ship here just leave me some salad and I'll be fine," she answered.

"Are you sure?" Doctor Howard questioned.

"Yes, really," Kate confirmed. 

With a bowl full of different salads in one hand and a portable radio tucked under her arm Kate walked onto the bridge. It was quiet since she was the only one left on board. She didn't mind at all. Since they had to stay on board there was never a time when she could be all on her own without hearing a colleague sneeze or walk past or talk, even if it was in a low voice.

The quietness felt like a blessing. She had told the crew about her pregnancy two weeks ago, after her argument with Mike, and ever since she had been the centre of attention. They all meant well, it was just a bit tiring to get good wishes and questions about how she was feeling all day.

Kate put down the bowl and radio and checked the monitors. There wasn't much to check but it had to be done anyway. When nothing showed up on radar she decided to sit down in the Captain's chair and enjoy the food.

She had never had such a relaxed meal on the Hammersley before and with a satisfactory smile on her face she put the empty bowl down in her lap and closed her eyes. The quietness made it possible for her to remember what the heartbeats of her child had sounded like.

For a few moments she did nothing else but sit back, relax and listen to the few sounds she could hear. Suddenly the radio started to crackle. It was such an unexpected sound that Kate almost jumped out of the chair. In a reflex she let the bowl and fork drop to the floor where it twirled around before it stopped.

"X-Ray 82 this is Charlie 82, come in please," Mike demanded over the radio.

Kate picked up the nearest radio and pressed the button to answer.

"Charlie 82 this is X-Ray 82, are you enjoying yourselves?" she asked.

Kate got up and walked towards the door to see if she could depict Mike on the beach.

"Is everything alright? You won't leave us all on the beach and take Hammersley out for a spin on your own, won't you?" Mike joked.

Kate picked up a set of binoculars and saw Mike on the beach with a radio set in his hands, looking towards the ship.

"Don't give me any ideas Captain," she replied jokingly. "Everything is alright here. Nothing to report. I see you're having a great time down there," she added.

On the beach was a huge campfire and some sailors were dancing although Kate couldn't hear the music at all.

"You're sure you don't want to come down here Kate? I can send someone to take over from you," Mike suggested.

Kate looked around at the beach and shook her head. No way was she going to give up her quiet night. "I'm enjoying the peace and quiet too much. I can cope on my own for a little longer."

"OK. Don't hesitate to ask for anything. Charlie 82 out," Mike said before the silence returned.

Kate looked around the beach one more time and saw how Mike returned to the other sailors and was handed a drink. A little bit away from the rest Bird and Regina were sitting. They seemed to be involved in a deep conversation and for a second Kate wanted to know what it was about but then she shrugged and remembered how nice it was to have some time on her own in which she didn't have to think about anyone else for a change.

Even though she loved the silence Kate decided to turn on the radio to listen to the news. Maybe some more news about Madelaine Cruise or the alleged threat would be revealed. It was highly unlikely since Madelaine had kept her mouth shut in the last two weeks.

"_The economy has grown in the last quarter of this year. Analyst are still weary and the stock markets all around the world are only slightly positive,"_ the newsreader told.

Economics. It seemed to be important, but not really the news Kate was waiting for. The news had already started before she had tuned in and she really hoped the subject she wanted to hear about hadn't passed already.

"_Five dead bodies were found on the Eliki Islands, about three hundred kilometres north of Cape York. According to the local police they were of Australian nationality, but the bodies were so badly decomposed that further investigation has to be done before that can be confirmed. The men were killed and dumped near a small village. Villagers told the local police there was a sixth person who is now considered to be the prime suspect,"_ the newsreader continued.

Kate didn't want to think about dead, badly decomposed, bodies and was about to turn off the radio when the newsreader continued:

"_The suspect, in custody for the bombing two months ago, was attacked while on transport from prison to the police station. The woman was shot and has been brought to hospital for emergency surgery."_

Kate picked up the binoculars again to see what Mike was doing. This was news he would want to know for sure but it wasn't that important to bother him with right now. There was nothing they could do anyway.

Mike was sitting down on the beach and was surrounded by sailors. They all seemed to be having great fun so Kate decided to leave it for now. She turned around and looked at the map. The Eliki Islands were easily found but more astonishingly was the fact that there was a possibility that Regina had come from there.

Hadn't the police said the five dead guys were Australian? Wasn't there a sixth person missing? Regina was an Australian citizen so it could be her. What if it was true? Did they have a mass murderer on board?


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11: N = 45 + 60/ Z = ?**

Kate sighed. She sat at her desk in her cabin with her hands in front of her eyes and a stack of papers in front of her. She had been studying Regina's file secretly for weeks now. She had made copies of the parts which spoke of her mumbling.

"N equals 45, added by 60, divided by Z," Kate read out loud. Whatever Reg had said made no sense. It must be some sort of a formula but which one? What for?

Kate looked at her own notes again. In the past two weeks she had used a lot of her spare time trying to fit all the separate pieces into formulas she knew or remembered from her science classes. By now she had numerous pages full which could be discounted.

"What is this formula for?" Kate asked herself, looking at her latest try.

"XO to the ship's office. XO to the ship's office," RO announced over the intercom.

Kate quickly grabbed all the papers together and put them back in a folder in one of the drawers before she got up and left her cabin.

On her way she passed the junior sailors' mess where a few sailors were enjoying their down time. Against the rules the door was closed.

Kate slowed down, hoping to find out what the reason was for the closed door. It was no surprise to hear 2Dads' voice amongst others.

"You finally decided," Kate heard him ask.

A reply was made but whoever answered wasn't as loud as the blond sailor.

"Are you certain?" 2Dads asked again. "Well, it's your money," he added confidently. "And a name?" Kate heard him continue.

What were they doing? Where they playing poker or any other betting game? Without a knock she opened the door to the mess, hitting 2Dads with it since he was standing on the other side.

Another sailor shrieked at the sight of Kate in the doorway. She hid something underneath the table and looked at Kate with a guilty look.

"What's going on here?" Kate demanded to know.

"Oh hi X," 2Dads happily chirped. "Can we do something for you?"

Kate looked around the room and knew something was going on. There wasn't a poker game going on but she didn't trust 2Dads at these moments and he looked way too cocky. If she didn't have to be in the ship's office she would stick around and find out but then she saw the young sailor again, still trying to hide something.

"What are you hiding Leading Seaman Cook?" she asked.

The woman started to stutter and turned as red as a beetroot. "I, uhm, well."

Kate wanted to say something when 2Dads coughed and motioned with his hands. "We could tell you X, but it's supposed to stay a surprise for later," he said cheekily.

He was holding on to the door as if he didn't want her to see what was behind it. Kate was about to investigate the situation when she heard Mike's voice: "Has anyone seen the XO?" he asked to no one in particular.

Kate walked back a few steps so Mike was able to see her before she looked back inside the junior sailors' mess. "Leave the door open," she ordered.

2Dads answered something like a confirmation while Leading Seaman Cook whispered: "Is she gone?"

Kate had walked a few steps in Mike's direction, stopped and turned around again but Mike came out into the hallway, taking a breath indicating he wanted to say something to her. Quickly Kate held up her hand to let him know he should wait a second.

"What?" he asked not understanding what was happening.

"Let me see," 2Dads ordered Leading Seaman Cook. "Oh, that is _so_ cute. I'll bet the…"

"Come on Kate. What's holding you up?" Mike asked, interfering with her understanding of the last words of 2Dads' sentence.

Kate walked into the office and shrugged. "Oh, 2Dads is up to something. I'll find out," Kate answered. She saw Mike's face turn pale, just a fraction of a second, but long enough for Kate to notice.

"You know what he's up to, don't you?" she challenged him.

Mike smiled and shook his head. "I know nothing Kate," he said. To put an end to the conversation he pointed at the computer. "Maxine called about ten minutes ago. She wanted to see us," he explained.

They both sat down in front of the screen and waited for Maxine to connect to Skype. For weeks they had used this method of communication and it seemed be a very satisfying experience.

"Good afternoon Mike, Kate," Maxine greeted them. "I'm glad to catch you," she added.

Mike started to laugh. "As if we could be anywhere else," he joked.

Maxine laughed and raised her hands in defeat. "True, although you could…" she didn't finish her sentence. "Oh well, let's not go there. I'm glad both of you look good," she stumbled. "I need to tell you something important," she finished, sounding serious.

Mike was a bit in a jolly mood and shrugged. "We wouldn't dare not answer the phone when we know you want to speak to us," he said.

"It's about Madelaine Cruise," Maxine stated.

Kate's eyes widened. Ever since the attack Madelaine had been in hospital, in a coma. She had never been able to help clarify what had happened. News could mean two things and Kate really hoped it would be positive.

"It's not good I'm afraid," Maxine ended the hopeful looks. "She died earlier this morning, never regaining consciousness," Maxine explained.

Kate realised she wasn't even sad because of the loss of a human being, but more because Madelaine couldn't answer any more questions.

Kate shook her head, a gesture which was mistaken by Maxine for sympathy. "Don't feel sorry Kate. She doesn't deserve it," Maxine said.

"Do the police know who killed her?" Mike asked.

"They suspect someone from the terrorist cell. They must have known Madelaine told the police more than she should," Maxine answered. "There is one thing they're worried about. If it was someone from the cell it means they're operating on Australian soil. The man who fired the shot wasn't Caucasian, but who knows? How many Australians are helping the terrorists?"

Kate had thought about that too. Madelaine had helped them and she wouldn't be the only one. She even had doubts about their passenger, although she had never voiced those doubts. First she needed evidence.

"What about Regina Simpson?" Kate raised the question carefully, hoping she could clear her own doubts and fears. "She could have come from those islands where the five men were killed. We don't know much about her. I've got a strange feeling about her," Kate said.

Maxine leaned forward and folded her hands under her chin. "Interesting," she said. "Can you explain what it is?" she asked.

Mike turned his chair and looked at Kate, who didn't look at him but started to look sombre for speaking up. "You've never said anything to me before. How long have you suspected Regina?" he asked accusingly.

"I don't suspect her of anything," Kate defended. "Yet," she added quietly. "It's just a tingling feeling. I don't know how to describe it. She has told Bird a few things but even Bird is starting to have doubts about certain details. We know so little about her," Kate explained.

"In that case," Maxine said while she closed one file and searched for another. "Ah here it is," she said happily as she opened it. "The Feds have given me some information. We need a DNA test to prove our theory but the pictures you've supplied indicate she could be a long lost person. Five years ago a science student disappeared. Her family hasn't heard anything of her ever since," Maxine read from the file.

"Why do the Feds think Regina and this woman are one and the same?" Kate asked while she tried to make links in her head.

Regina had said things in her earlier delusional state that could be put together as a formula. The missing woman was a science student and would have worked with lots of formulas. 

"Regina Simpson is not a name that comes up with all the other things we know about her. There is not a 29 year old Regina Simpson living in Australia. There is one who's 84," Maxine answered with a laugh.

"Hmm," Mike sighed. "So she gave us a false name. That still doesn't mean she's the missing uni student," he continued.

Maxine smiled broadly. "Very observant," she chuckled. "but the grandmother's name of Alicia, our missing student, _is_ Regina."

Mike frowned but Kate understood the implication. It was too much of a coincidence. It also made sense with the knowledge she had gathered from the notes, but to be able to share that she had to admit she had taken the notes from Doctor Howard.

Mike looked at Kate. She knew something, something he didn't know and that bothered him. They had always trusted each other and since they had talked a couple of weeks ago it seemed like they were back on the right track, but now he wasn't so sure anymore.

"Let's assume Regina is actually this Alicia. What does that mean?" Mike asked seriously.

Maxine shrugged. "In what way?" she asked.

Mike didn't understand the question but Kate nodded in agreement. "Was she abducted? Did she run away? If she ran away why did she do that?" Kate explained.

"I would say she ran away," Mike said confidently.

Maxine looked at him questioningly. "Why do you think that?" she asked.

Kate thought she knew what he meant. "That's what I think too," she added. "If she didn't run away she could have made contact before now, wouldn't you say?" she explained.

Maxine looked questionably. "That is if she ever had the chance to make contact," she argued.  
>Kate knew that in theory Maxine was right but it just didn't add up with what Regina had told them. If she had been kept captive for the last five years she would at least have said something about it by now.<p>

"Can I try my theory?" Kate asked. She would have to give away a bit of her knowledge but maybe not everything she knew.

"What if Regina, _Alicia_, ran away. Let's say because she didn't agree with her lifestyle anymore. She runs away to a foreign country and joins a group of Ozzies…"

"Are you talking about the five killed men found on the Eliki islands?" Maxine tried to clarify.

"Yes. So Regina is on the Eliki islands and either kills those guys or is the only survivor of the massacre," Kate continued.

Mike shook his head. "There are too many question marks in that assumption," he said. 

"She was on route to the Eliki islands when we found her. She's hiding stuff from us ever since she's been able to talk again. She tells us lies or half-truths. When she was still half conscious she mumbled a lot which, if you put it together, could be a formula. That fact correlates with Alicia who was a science student. What I want to know is what happened? Should we be cautious with Regina? What are the formulas for?" Kate said vehemently.

"Wait a minute. You can still remember what she said all those weeks ago?" Mike asked dumbfounded.

Kate felt a blush creeping up her face and she didn't know what to say.

"Does that really matter right now?" Maxine asked. "What worries me right now is that Kate has a point. I'll report back to the Feds and I want to ask you to find out more about Regina or whatever her name is. For now I think it's best if this woman doesn't know we're investigating her because if she is a mass murderer I don't think she would let any of you live if you knew," Maxine warned them.

Mike and Kate agreed and signed off. Kate stood up and wanted to go back to her cabin. She had been sitting for too long and wanted to lie down for a while before her watch started, but Mike held her arm and stopped her.

"How _do_ you know about what Regina said several weeks ago and how come you never shared your thoughts with me?" Mike demanded.

Kate shook her arm to let him know she didn't like his touch. Mike let go of her arm but kept staring at her.

"Well?" he pressed.

"I just do," Kate replied as she left the office and walked back towards her own cabin.

"Not good enough McGregor," Mike said as he followed her.

Kate sighed. She knew Mike wouldn't give up until he had found out what she knew and how she got to know it. There was no other way except to let him know. She led him into the privacy of her cabin and showed him her notes.

"What else did you steal from Timothy?" Mike asked, trying to hide a smile.

Kate didn't know what he was talking about until she saw him snooping around her cabin.

"He came to complain about a missing object yesterday," Mike chuckled.

Kate sighed and got the small ultrasound machine from under her pillow. "It took him until yesterday to realise it was missing? I've had it for two weeks now," she grinned. "It's not that anyone else around here needs it anyway," she added.

Mike laughed. "Our dear Doctor wants it back and actually he wants to report you _but_…"

Kate's face dropped and she felt her heartbeat quicken. "He wants to do _what?_" she asked  
>alarmed.<p>

"I'll help you," Mike said with twinkling eyes. "Only if you let me hear what kind of sounds my little god child is making in there," he said as he pointed at her protruding belly.

Kate laughed. "God child?" she wondered, but instead of arguing with him she got the machine and let him listen.

"I wish you wouldn't take it away from me. I love listening to my little one," Kate sighed.

Mike took the machine from her and gave her a sorrowful look. "When we're back in town I'll buy you one. Just promise me not to upset Timothy Howard. He's a stickler for the rules and I wouldn't like to see you end up in trouble because of something like this."

Kate nodded before she sat down on her rack. She looked at her watch and saw she had a couple of hours before her shift started. "I think _we're_ going to get some rest," she joked.

"I'll take these as well," Mike said, taking her notes on the formulas and Regina with him. "I'll see you at dinner time," he added. Quietly he switched off the light, looked at Kate one last time, smiled, and closed the door.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: Cairns = Home**

A magnificent sunset was seen from the back of the Hammersley. Tomorrow was going to be a beautiful day for sure but to the three women sitting at the back, and enjoying it, it could rain or be the most horrendous day because after this day they were allowed to go home!

Bird stared into the distance and simply smiled. She had never thought she would like being at sea this much. At least not for long periods of time, but in the past twelve weeks she had gained a lot of knowledge. Her first year in the navy as a Seaman was almost over and with all the extra training she had had while being in quarantine she was more than ready to apply for a promotion to Able Seaman. She was even thinking about a future on a frigate.

Going home also meant she would have to say goodbye to Regina. They had formed a friendship and had spent a lot of time together talking or playing games.

"My mother told me she's going to drag my whole family up here to welcome me home," Bird announced a bit embarrassed.

"That's great," Kate said enthusiastically. She looked at the brown haired sailor and smiled. "Enjoy the moment. It's wonderful and very special."

Regina nodded as if she knew what they were talking about. "I've seen it on TV a few times. I mean, I've seen those big ships return home," she explained.

"Frigates," Bird corrected her. "Weren't you on a frigate Kate?" she asked.

Kate nodded forlornly. She wasn't really thinking about frigates or welcome home parties. Of course she was glad to be going home but it made her realise she was going to be on her own after having so many people around her for weeks.

"Who's going to be there for you?" Bird suddenly asked.

Kate shrugged.

"At least the father of your little one," Regina said happily.

Kate's jaw almost dropped to the floor and she looked at Regina in disbelief. "I know I haven't told you much about my private life but I thought you would have known Jim was killed," Kate snapped.

"I'm sorry," Regina whimpered an apology.

"Jim was killed in the bombing almost five months ago. You know, when Swain was killed as well," Bird explained.

Regina wanted to hide behind her hands in shame. Bird had told her a lot about Swain and how he had died. She also knew he hadn't been the only one, but in all those weeks she had never made the connection to the bombing and Kate's grief. She wanted to comfort Kate, but she stepped away and leaned against the metal bars to look at the sea.

"I don't want to talk about it," Kate said sternly before either of the girls could say anything else. Actually she was about to cry but that was the last thing she wanted to do in front of them.

"Is there someone else coming for you?" Bird tried to cheer up Kate.

Kate shrugged. Just like all the previous times she had returned home she would be the only one not having anyone there to greet her. It wouldn't be any different although this time she really wished Jim could have been there. It made her sad. For the first time in her life she hated being alone.

"Who's coming for you?" Bird asked Regina when Kate didn't answer.

"No one," was her short reply. She almost snapped at Bird.

Kate forgot about her own sorrow and looked at Regina. Surely someone would come for her.

"You didn't contact your family that you're still alive?" Kate asked amazed at the heartless attitude of the woman.

"Why would I? They kicked me out years ago. I've been on my own for a long time," she answered.

Bird couldn't fathom how a family could be so hard. Regina had almost died out at sea and had been away for a long time. Her family would probably love to see her again.

"You don't have a boyfriend who can come?" Bird tried.

"I said no one is coming. What's so hard to understand about that?" Regina yelled.

The nice, relaxed feeling had disappeared completely. Regina turned her back to the two women, Kate tried to hide her own grief while she comforted Bird. Kate gave Regina a foul look. "She means well," she defended Bird. She knew why there wasn't going to be someone waiting for Regina. At least she thought she knew but Bird had never been informed about the suspicions which were made.

"How could Bird know you don't have anyone waiting for you? She doesn't know you ran away and did that almost five years ago," Kate said trying to get a reaction from Regina.

"You don't know anything," Regina stated.

"Right and you don't have to tell us if you don't want to but don't bite our heads off when we're trying to be polite," Kate said coolly.

Regina got up and walked a bit away from the two sailors before she turned around. "Just leave me alone," she yelled before she ran back inside.

Bird was flabbergasted by what had just happened. She thought Regina and she were friends and this was not something she had thought would happen.

"What did we do?" she asked Kate.

"Nothing. I guess she's scared of what's going to happen. Earlier today the CO and I told her she's going to be met by people from customs. She doesn't have any legal document to claim she's who she says she is so they have a few questions for her to answer," Kate explained.

Bird nodded and decided to go inside as well but then she stopped, turned around and smilingly said as if nothing had happened: "Oh Kate, don't forget the meeting in the junior sailors' mess later tonight."

Kate rolled her eyes and sighed. Something was going on. She knew it. After today she would take on a desk job at Navcom until a few weeks before the birth. Hopefully she could return after the baby was born but that was still far away and not something she had really thought about yet. Her colleagues of the Hammersley had been secretive and had been busy planning something. Kate was anxious about what to expect. Were they going to say goodbye for good or simply wishing her well?

That night, Kate reluctantly dragged herself to the mess. Whatever was in store for her she wasn't looking forward to it. It wasn't that she didn't appreciate the attention but more the implication it brought with it.

If she was true to herself Kate didn't want to give up her job as XO. She was looking forward to meeting her child but at the same time it frightened her to even think of the weeks, months, until the birth and then she would be a single mum. She couldn't easily return to a posting at sea when there was no one to take care of the baby.

"She's coming. Ssshh," someone whispered. The few sounds she had heard before died away but when she entered the room a loud noise erupted. Kate was amazed by the number of people inside, giving her a warm farewell.

"Surprise," a few sailors still yelled while the others already looked at her with big grins on their faces.

"We all know this is not going to be a goodbye forever. You'll come back after you popped out…" Charge said, gaining a punch from Dutchy. "After you gave birth to Hammersley's youngest sailor," he corrected himself. "That's why we made this for you."

Everybody laughed. In the chaos someone handed Charge a present which he in return handed Kate.

"In the past few weeks all of us have helped create this," Charge said, quickly looking at the present. "If you don't ask us where it came from we won't tell you any lies. All we can hope for is that it's going to fit," he added.

Kate looked at the present in her hands before she looked at the group of people. Everyone she had worked with and had meant something to her in the past years was there. Whatever was in this little present was going to mean a lot to her, without any doubt.

"You have to open it X," 2Dads urged her.

Kate nodded and started to peel off the scotch tape.

"Any slower X and the baby is going to be born," Charge teased her.

Kate smiled but had a mixture of feelings flowing through her body. Everybody was looking at her which made it a bit uncomfortable. With trembling hands she continued to unwrap the present until she had a baby size DPNU in her hands. She couldn't do anything else but laugh and admire it.

"We don't know what the baby's surname will be so we made two name tags," 2Dads explained.

Kate looked at the little uniform and saw the name 'McGregor' stuck on it and a loose one with the name 'Roth' next to it.

Kate was dumbfounded. Of all the things she had thought that were going to happen this was the last thing she expected. She looked around the group of people and, without any words, thanked each and every one of them.

"I… uhm… I…" she stuttered. Kate didn't know what to say so she looked at the little uniform. It was hard to imagine her baby would be wearing that in a few months' time. Again she tried to say something but her mouth was really dry so she turned around to get herself some water.

"I'll get it for you," 2Dads offered but Kate stopped him.

"I'm pregnant…"

"_Not_ an invalid," everybody said in unison before they all started to laugh.

"I've said that before, haven't I?" Kate joked, realising she must have said that sentence a few too many times when everybody could recite it along with her. Well, it was the truth. She didn't want to be treated any differently so she moved towards the tap to get some water but then saw a piece of paper stuck on the back of the door.

Forgetting about the water Kate took a closer look at the paper. With a line in the middle it was divided into two segments. On the left top side was the word 'GIRLS' written and on the right side 'BOYS'. The paper was filled with names, some of them were crossed out, some were encircled and others had stripes underneath them.

"What is this?" Kate asked a very silent group of sailors. Only 2Dads was smirking.

"We wanted to help you come up with a name for your baby, ma'am," he answered smugly.

Kate looked at the door and read some of the names. "Hope, Roz, Elizabeth, Annabel, Mary, Maggie, Thor, James, Michael, Christopher, Andrew, _Severus_…" Kate said disgusted. "Harry, Ron, _Albus_! I do hope some of you were simply smitten by the latest Harry Potter movie and aren't serious."

A few sailors started to laugh but no one dared to look at her. "How much money has been spend on my little one already?" Kate suddenly asked, sounding very seriously.

It was very silent as everyone looked at each other instead of answering the question. Kate decided to torture them a little longer, even though she was greatly amused by this situation. 2Dads had been the only one to say something and he was the betting guy on the ship. Kate looked at him with piercing eyes, demanding an answer.

"I don't know ma'am," he answered slowly. "I don't own the pot," he added while he looked in Mike's direction.

Kate shook her head. He was the last person she would suspect and when he noticed she was looking at him he started to laugh and shook his head as well.

"I don't know anything either," he said as innocently as he could. "Honestly," he added, but Kate saw that Mike had at least known about this.

As the senior officers they had let a lot of little things 'happen' but after tomorrow the old, strict, rules would be in place again. Tomorrow everything would be normal again. _Normal_. After tomorrow nothing would be normal again.

Realising this Kate sighed and looked around for a place to sit down. The jolly happy mood had disappeared with the thought of tomorrow.

"What's wrong?" Mike tried, but all Kate could do was shrug.

He stood up to get her the glass of water she had intended to get herself. His spot was quickly filled by Dutchy who put his hand on her shoulder. "I hope we didn't offend you," he said, pointing at the list with names.

Kate shrugged again. "That's not it," she whispered. "I hadn't even thought about names yet."

"You can have the list. Or copy the names you like," Dutchy suggested.

"Thank you all for the lovely present and I might even copy some of the names and start my own list but my watch starts in a few minutes," Kate said gloomy.

She left the mess and walked passed her cabin to drop the uniform there. All her bags were packed already. The cabin looked cold and unwelcome but the worst thing was that after today she didn't even have her friends and colleagues around to keep her company. She would be on her own. 

The night watch was uneventful and when the morning came they saw the first glimpses of Cairns' harbour. A few more miles and they were home. Everyone on board was getting ready to greet the people who had come to meet them. Everyone, except Kate.

She would have to be present for the official part but she would rather have stayed inside while all the others were met by family members.

As expected the dock was filled with people who came to welcome home the sailors. They had to wait for the official dismissal, but after waiting for weeks no one minded those few extra minutes.

In her loudest voice Kate dismissed the sailors and when she turned she saw them, Jim's parents. She had been wrong. For the first time in her life there were people waiting for her return. She smiled as much as she could. They probably didn't even know it but by simply showing up they brightened up Kate's mood. She was home at last!


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: 2 surprises = lots of joy**

Kate walked off the ship towards the two people who were still waiting for her. A lot of the junior sailors had already left with their families so there weren't many people waiting anymore. As soon as she walked off the gangway Malcolm Roth walked up to her and wanted to take over her duffle bag.

Kate stopped, not knowing what to do and how to behave around Jim's parents. She had only met Terry Roth once and although she had informed, and had kept them up to date of her pregnancy, she wasn't really familiar with them.

"You must be happy to walk on firm ground for a change," Malcolm joked while Kate embraced Terry.

Kate shrugged and looked at the woman, still a bit uneasily. "I have been off the ship once in a while," she answered. "There are a lot of uninhabited islands we visited," she added.

"You probably want to go home," Terry said. She sounded unsure and when Kate looked at Malcolm she knew why. He gave her a disapproving look and sighed.

"Terry," he muttered.

"Well look at her," Terry defended herself. "She looks exhausted. We can ask Graham another time," she discussed.

Kate didn't know what they were talking about but, like Terry said, she was exhausted. She was in no fit state to meet anyone at this time, so whoever Graham was he had to wait.

"A friend of ours works as a radiographer at a private clinic. He can squeeze you in for an ultrasound," Malcolm explained, ignoring his wife who was shaking her head and sighing as a protest.

"If you're too tired and would rather go home then that's fine too," Terry quickly added.

Kate liked the idea of 'seeing' her baby but she really was tired after working all night. She tried to weigh the options in her head; going home or going with the Roths and having a peek at her baby. She had made an appointment later this week and an ultrasound was one of the things which was planned. Thinking about it made her excited about saying yes.

"In a regular hospital they don't take as much time. We wanted to surprise you with an extra ultrasound," Malcolm tried to convince her to take the offer.

Kate smiled at him and started walking towards the car park. "Let's go," she stated.

At the clinic she didn't have to wait long before it was her turn. For good measure the doctor checked her blood pressure and some minor things before she could lay down on the examining table. During the first bit she had been alone with the doctor but now Kate was surprised Malcolm and Terry didn't come inside to join her.

"They're waiting a few more minutes so you can see the baby first. When you want to they can come in," the doctor explained when he saw her looking at the door.

Kate nodded and just enjoyed seeing the baby moving for the first time. It was perfectly healthy.

"Do you want to know the sex of your baby?" the doctor asked with a smile on his face.

It was clear that he could see what it was going to be. Kate looked at the screen and tried to figure it out for herself but couldn't tell without help. Up until now she hadn't even thought about the sex. The only thing she wanted was a healthy child.

"I don't know," she answered a bit dazzled.

"I understand you're lucky and will have another opportunity in the near future. If you want to know you can always ask your own doctor," the man said with a smile before he wrote something down on a piece of paper. "Shall I let Malcolm and Terry in or do you want to keep this moment to yourself?" he asked without looking at her.

Kate almost felt obliged to let them in but Terry kept saying that she wouldn't mind if she chose otherwise. In the end Kate let them in and the doctor reapplied some gel.

"Oh I'm sorry," he said when he saw he had accidently applied a generous smear of gel on her t-shirt.

"That's OK," Kate said. "I've got others in my bag. I'll change. No harm done."

She couldn't care less. Fifteen minutes had passed and she was still looking at her gorgeous baby.

After another long look Kate came down off the table while Terry handed her her bag. Kate looked in it to get a clean shirt but to her surprise a diary was stuck between her clothes.

"That isn't mine," Kate said out loud, only then realising nobody would know what she was talking about. She pulled it out and opened it only to find out it belonged to Regina. _What is this thing doing here_, Kate thought. She put the diary back and got dressed. There was nothing she could do about it at the moment.

On her way home Kate kept thinking about it though. Why had Regina put her diary in her bag? Could she have put it in the wrong one? The navy had given her a bag for the time being since Reg had nothing of her own, but when had she had time to put something in the wrong bag?

By the time Kate got home she couldn't think about anything else so she decided to call Maxine White to ask if she knew where Regina was.

"Regina?" Maxine asked bewildered. "You're seriously thinking about her when you could be doing all kinds of things like shopping for your baby or…" Maxine continued happily.

"Jim's parents had a little surprise for me. They took me for a surprise ultrasound. I've just come home. Regina put something in my bag by mistake and I want to return it to her," Kate explained.

"Ah I see," Maxine started. "How was your ultrasound?" she continued, still not answering the actual question.

Kate sighed. Little babies, unborn and new born, had this strange effect on people. Suddenly the most sensible person could turn into mush and it was happening to Commander White right now.

"Good," Kate answered as vague as she could, hoping it would be enough of a hint for Maxine to stop asking questions.

"Well," Maxine said, sounding professional again. "Regina, or Alicia, whatever her name is, has been cleared by customs. Apparently she is no longer a suspect in that massacre case. It turned out a man has been arrested for killing those five men. Regina did walk away five years ago so the Feds still want to talk to her about what she has been doing in the meantime but for now she's been lodged in a motel. Wait… I'll look up the details for you," she added.

"That would be great," Kate said while she got a piece of paper and a pen to write the address down. 

Maxine hung up the phone and looked at the man sitting on the other side of her desk. "I'm sorry about that," she apologised. "Where were we?" she asked out loud. It was more a question to herself than to the Petty Officer present in her office.

Dylan Mulholland grinned at his superior. He had just arrived home when she called him with a request to come to Navcom. He was really curious about to what she wanted.

He had returned to Navcom only to find out that Commander White got disturbed every five minutes or so. She had finally closed the door to her office when the phone rang and of course she had answered it. From what he could make out it was Kate on the line and she wasn't too keen on going into a deep discussion about babies. For that he was grateful.

"I asked you to come in because I've received two pleasing recommendations from your senior officers," Maxine explained.

Dutchy frowned. Of course he was pleased to hear his senior officers were pleased with his work but did the navy really need to tell him that on his first day off?

"They told me you are a great leader and showed good initiative. The navy likes that in her sailors and that's why they put your name down for a promotion," Maxine continued.

Dutchy was amazed to hear this and felt really honoured. "Chief Petty Officer?" he wondered out loud, trying to imagine the sound of that.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I wasn't clear on that," Maxine shook her head. "They believe you would be perfect for as a navy Lieutenant. It would mean you've got to go back to the academy," she explained.

_A Lieutenant!_ Dutchy had never thought about that if he was honest. Did he have to decide right now?

"If you don't want it it's fine. We won't held it against you. I can also understand you want to think about it but…" Maxine continued to explain. "Well… the next course starts next week. We can get you in if you react quickly."

It was a lot to process at the moment but Dutchy felt honoured and proud. "When do you need to know?" he asked.

"Ideally we would like to get an answer today or tomorrow but I'll give you until the end of the week," Maxine answered.

Dutchy nodded and smiled. This was fantastic news. He wanted to go home and think about it but at that moment two federal cops knocked on Commander White's door and walked in without waiting for an answer.

"Gentlemen," Maxine said irritated.

"We need the address of one of your sailors," one of them said without even apologising for barging in.

"I can't just give out that kind of information," Maxine said defensively.

The other cop sighed and shook his head. "It's important," he urged.

Maxine sighed as well. She was not going to give out information just because two men thought it was important. She needed more information.

"The woman who was brought in on the Hammersley. Customs cleared her and let her go. We need to talk to her about several issues and she's not at the address which was given by customs. We understand she formed a close relationship with one of the sailors and think she might be visiting her," the cop explained, hoping he would get the necessary information.

"Bird," Dutchy muttered.

"That's the name!" the cop said eagerly.

"I can give her a call if that makes you happy," Maxine suggested. She didn't wait and picked up the phone, quickly looking for the right number in her phone directory.

Everyone in the room waited anxiously as she dialled but after half a minute Maxine put down the phone, shaking her head. "She doesn't pick up her phone. I'll try again later. I don't think it's necessary for me to give out her address at this stage. I'll let her know to contact me or you if that makes you happy," she added sarcastically.

The two cops started to leave the office, not too happy about the result they got, when Dutchy remembered something.

"Ma'am," he said alarmed. "Didn't you give out the address to Lieutenant McGregor?"

Maxine nodded. "Yes, I did," she answered. "Gentlemen," she called after the cops. "Is this woman dangerous? Should I warn my officer not to visit?" she asked.

One of the cops returned and pointed at the phone. "Call her. It's unlikely for your officer to be met by this woman. We went by the motel earlier and she wasn't there, but we want to talk to her about some serious issues," he said.

Maxine dialled Kate's number while she looked at the cop in disbelief. "You didn't answer my question," she whispered as she waited for Kate to pick up the phone.

"Tell her to stay away from this woman," the cop answered.

"OK, I tell h… Oh hi Kate, it's Maxine," Maxine said switching to a friendly tone. "Where are you?" she asked.

In the background Maxine could hear sounds indicating Kate was outside, near a road.

"I'm at the motel," Kate answered.

"Regina isn't there. The Feds came by earlier and didn't see her then," Maxine said.

"I'm in front of her room now. It looks she has returned in the meantime ma'am," Kate said enthusiastically.

"Kate, please leave," Maxine said hurriedly when she heard Kate knock on a door.

"I'm only returning something. I promise I won't stay long," Kate said before Maxine heard the door open.

"Oh hi Kate," Maxine heard Regina say. "What brings you here?"

"I came to return this," Kate answered.

"Who is that?" a strange voice asked in the background. "Is that what I think it is?"

Maxine listened to the man who sounded very aggressive and quickly put the call on speaker so the others in the room could listen as well.

"You're very kind to return this," the man's voice continued.

"Who are you? What do you want?" Kate asked. "Hey! Stop! Leave me alone," Kate suddenly screamed. "NO!" was the last thing they heard before the connection was cut off.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14: Formula = good?/bad?**

Kate was pulled into a room where every drawer had been turned upside down, every door had been opened and all Regina's belongings were spread across the floor. Regina herself was pinned against a wall by a guy. With one hand another guy had Kate pinned against a wall while he was flipping through Regina's diary.

"Be careful with her," Regina said threateningly to which the guy started laughing.

"You mean this or her?" he sniggered showing the diary to Regina.

"I wouldn't hurt you. You're way too good looking and besides you brought something which dear Regina had lost," he said directly to Kate, stroking her cheek. "You may sit on the bed," he continued politely but Kate knew that if she didn't obey him her good looks wouldn't make any difference.

"Let her go!" Regina pleaded. "She brought you the diary now let her go," she urged the man.

Kate didn't know what was happening. She didn't even know what was in the diary that was so important. She looked at the man who was pinning Regina to the wall. Although he was restraining her he made sure he didn't physically harm her. Who were those guys? Did Regina know them? Why would they want her diary, something she had only started writing after the Hammersley had picked her up at sea.

"We're very grateful she brought this back but what is a smart navy chick going to do first after we let her go? Tell us that little Reggie," the man who had pulled Kate inside said.

"Yeah, why don't you sit down next to _Kate_," the other man said as he pushed Regina towards the bed.

They knew her name! They also seemed to know she was in the navy but Kate had never seen them before in her life. Could Regina have told them about her? That still didn't make sense because for that Regina would have had to show those guys a picture of her. They didn't look that friendly towards each other that they had shared pictures but how did they know things about her?

Regina sat down next to Kate. She had a worried look on her face while one of the guys kept flipping through the diary.

"Who are those guys? Do you know them? How do they know my name?" Kate asked Regina, quickly looking at the two men.

"Shut up!" one of the guys yelled at Kate.

"What do you want?" Kate replied with a raised voice. "Who are you and why are you keeping us here?"

"You ask too many questions," one of the guys said as he came closer threateningly but then the other guy pointed at one of the pages of the diary.

"Thank you Reggie. We knew we could count on you. Look, she wrote it down," he said to his friend.

Regina cringed and sighed. It was very clear she didn't like the fact the guys had found something in her diary.

"We'll take them to the shed," the first guy suggested and the other one nodded in agreement.

Regina slid off the bed and walked up to the men before she pointed at Kate. "I'll go with you but Kate has nothing to do with all of this. She doesn't know anything. Leave her here. She won't know where you're taking me so she won't be able to tell anyone," she pleaded again.

The guy with the diary in his hands looked at her in disbelief. "Is that a fact?" he mockingly said. "I just read a very interesting bit, you want to hear it?" he asked. He flipped back a few pages and read a passage out loud. _"Kate has heard me mumbling a lot. If she has any knowledge of science she could figure out the formula,"_ he read before looking at Regina. "How do we know she doesn't know anything about science? She'll be your little assistant so she's coming, no discussion," he finished.

Kate and Regina were guided into a car and were driven to a shed which, surprisingly, looked like a professional lab inside. Kate was allowed inside but Regina was stopped by one of the guys.

"As you can see we arranged a new working space for you. We'll get the ingredients after which you can make the stuff. You better not stuff up or she'll be history," the guy threatened Regina while he looked at Kate.

"Start preparing," the other one added before they closed the door and locked it.

The women heard the car leave but Kate had already started looking for a way out.

"Who are those guys?" she asked, sounding really pissed off.

They hadn't hurt her or hadn't even frightened her that much. She had gone through a lot worse, but she was locked up and it was clear Regina had to make something which wasn't going to be found in any drugstore. "What do they want you to make?" she asked, looking at the walls for a crack or an unblocked window instead of looking at Regina.

"I don't know," Regina said apologetically.

"Bull shit!" Kate replied, walking up to Regina and standing right in front of her. "You've been able to hide the truth for the past twelve weeks but it stops right here. You better tell me why I'm being held hostage," Kate demanded to know.

"I don't know who those guys are Kate, honestly. I've never seen them before in my life. They belong to a group for which I've worked for," Regina answered.

Kate sighed. They didn't have time for _twenty questions_. Those guys would return soon and Kate wanted to know what and who she was dealing with.

"How do they know my name? How do they know I work for the navy?" she asked.

Regina had started to look at the equipment and picked up several pipettes before she looked at Kate. "Madelaine Cruise," she almost whispered.

Kate stood still, unable to move a muscle. "You better start at the beginning, and quickly, because I don't understand this _at all_," she ordered.

There were two stools which Regina put together at the working table. She motioned Kate to sit down on one of them as she sat down on the other. While she started telling her story she kept on working with distilled water, pipettes and other products she would have to use later.

"I don't know these guys but they work for a group that fights against Australia," Regina started.

"But you're Australian. How can you fight against your own people?" Kate interrupted.

"Do you honestly believe Australia is the most wonderful place in the world? Come on, you're not that naïve," Regina said, shaking her head. "My parents have a pharmacy and as a kid I was allowed to help out at the counter, restocking tubes and boxes, those kind of things. I saw sick people come into the store and I would see them a while later being healthy again. From that moment on I knew I wanted to work in a pharmacy as well," Regina explained.

Kate nodded. She could understand the reason behind her choice of job, but Regina should speed up her story if she wanted to tell the end of it before the guys came back.

"After high school I went to university and started studying chemistry. I really liked it and I was good at it, but when I did my work experience I realised I was going to work for the rich. Rich people can buy anything they like while the poor suffer. It's as if they think they have more right to good health than the poor. It's so unfair. That's why I joined a socialistic movement," Regina continued.

"You're name isn't Regina, isn't it?" Kate asked. Things fell into place. This person had to be the missing uni student.

"It has been for the past five years but you're right. It's not the name I was given at birth," she answered.

"Alicia," Kate said, letting Regina know she had heard the name before.

Regina sighed. "What else do you know about me?" she asked.

Kate shrugged. "Not much. We know you didn't kill five people at the Eliki islands, but I still believe you're linked to them," she answered.

"You really thought I had killed them? I fled the country because I didn't want to kill," Regina exclaimed.

Kate didn't know how to react to that. Which country had Regina fled from? Why did she think she had to kill anyone? She gave Regina a questioning look, hoping she would explain some more.

"I went on a trip to Bali with a couple of friends from the socialistic movement. There I saw what poverty does to people. My friends and I met a man who wanted to fight that poverty just as much as I wanted to. He offered me a job, even when I hadn't even graduated yet. I took it because it meant I was going to work for the group of people that deserved it the most," Regina explained.

Kate quickly nodded.

"I moved to the Eliki islands and worked there, making medicine. The first few years were great but living there made me realise how unfair the world is. People there try to survive as best they can but countries like Australia treat them like criminals," Regina said without looking at Kate.

"How do we do that?" Kate wanted to know.

"By picking them up at sea when they're only fishing or by treating them like terrorists just because they believe in a different God," Regina answered seriously.

Kate shrugged. Of course there were people who fit that description but it was unfair to judge every Australian in that way. "There are laws in this world for a reason. I've picked up illegal fishermen but I've never treated them inhumane and I always try to respect others," Kate defended.

"Maybe not you, but I've seen a lot of men returning with nothing. No fish, no boat, no illusions anymore. When, one day, I met a man who said he could do something about it I was interested. He needed a powder or a liquid to scare the Australian government. With a couple of colleagues I started working on it. We created a powder but all the rats we used to test it on died. That wasn't what I wanted. I didn't study chemistry to kill people. We toned down the formula and as a result the rats got ill but after a few days were back to normal. The man who had hired us didn't like that and ordered us to recreate the first formula. He threatened to kill us if we didn't. That's why we recreated it, that's the only reason," Regina spoke vehemently.

She had stopped preparing and seemed to be lost in thought. Kate didn't dare to say anything, scared Regina would stop talking.

"We showed the powder to the man and he went away to get us the right amount of ingredients. During that time I was able to escape, taking the formula with me. I found a boat and fled the Eliki islands. My colleagues must have been killed because they didn't have the formula anymore and they didn't know where I was," Regina finished.

Kate felt sorry for her but then realised they were in a similar situation right now. "The formula in your diary…" she started, looking questioningly at Regina.

"I don't know which one it is. It could be the lethal formula or the one that only makes you sick," she answered before Kate could finish her sentence.

"What happens if you adjust the formula?" Kate asked, trying to find a way to fool the guys. The last thing she wanted was to be helping someone making a deadly powder and be responsible for killing innocent people.

"I'm not going to do that Kate," Regina apologised. "The difference between something good or bad is very thin. If this is the, let's say 'good version' then I could make it bad by changing it. I don't know what the powder will do if I change it. If it's the 'bad version' I could make it even worse. The only thing I can do is follow the written formula and hope it's the right one," she stated.

Kate thought for a second. Regina had a point but it was like Russian roulette. There were more questions she wanted to ask before the men came back.

"You said Madelaine Cruise told them about me, but how are we all linked?" she asked.

Regina contemplated the answer before she took a deep breath. "The man who hired us knew a lot about the Australian defence. We didn't know how until one day I met a woman, Madelaine. I only met her once because she didn't want to be seen with us or with the man," she said.

"This man. What's his name?" Kate asked.

"Moshir, although that wasn't his real name," Regina answered.

"Oh God," Kate exhaled.

"Well, Madelaine said we had to hurry up with the powder. They would create panic in the meantime. Now I know they meant using a dirty bomb, but I didn't know that back then," Regina continued.

"OK, I believe you," Kate said. "What I don't understand is why you wrote down the formula again."

"Because, like I said, the line between good and bad is very thin. If I keep working on it I could change it into something good. I didn't want to throw all my hard work away. I had escaped and was on a warship on my way home. I didn't know they were waiting for me. When you and Mike told me about the customs picking me up I started to get scared. I thought I had put my diary in Bird's bag. We would meet up after a while and I would ask for it back. If you hadn't brought it back today the worst thing that would have happened. was that they would kill me, but then they wouldn't have a formula to use for their bad intentions," Regina sighed.

"So this is my fault?" Kate wondered.

"No, no, you couldn't know this. You managed to link my mumbling to a formula but I don't believe you knew what it was for. If so, you wouldn't have brought the diary back to me," Regina shrugged.

Kate wanted to say something else but the lock on the door was opened and the guys came back inside.

"I hope you two are finished preparing," one of them said.

"Mehmet, we don't care. Now help me get these boxes inside," the other one said.

"Keep your shirt on Phil," Mehmet replied.

When all the boxes were inside Mehmet pulled the page with the formula out of the diary and handed it to Regina. "Don't screw up," he threatened.

Regina sighed but kitted up and started working, once in a while asking Kate to assist her. After a few hours the powder was finished. Kate was exhausted. She had been awake for almost twenty-four hours and hadn't had anything to eat since breakfast. She looked at her watch and saw it was almost 8 pm. Her body was tired but she knew she couldn't slack off right now.

"What do we do now?" Kate asked Regina.

Regina shrugged. "Sit? Wait? I don't know," she answered.

They hadn't said much during the process of making the powder and the men had been playing cards in a corner of the shed but now they came towards them and picked up the final product.

"You did good Reggie," Phil said.

"How do we know if she made it right?" Mehmet asked his friend.

"We test it," Phil answered smugly.

Regina looked around, alarmed. "I haven't seen any test rats," she said anxiously.

"I see one," Mehmet said as he came closer to Kate.

Kate couldn't breathe. He wasn't serious. He wasn't going to use her as a test case, was he? Regina must have been thinking the same and stepped in front of Kate before she picked up the page with the formula.

"I'll destroy it," she threatened. She held the page above a burner, still high enough for the paper not to set fire.

"Don't," Mehmet said while he came closer quickly.

Kate was so fixated on Mehmet that she didn't see Phil coming from behind. He pulled her by surprise and she almost lost balance as he dragged her away from Regina.

"I'm serious!" Regina said, holding the piece of paper a bit lower.

Kate looked at the situation in disgust. Regina was about to burn the paper when Phil pulled out a gun from the back of his jeans.

"Regina!" Kate screamed.

"Don't do it," Phil threatened with his weapon pointed at Regina.

Regina shook her head and dropped the paper into the flame. The same second Phil pulled the trigger and shot Regina.

"You drongo," Mehmet said. "We don't know if the powder works."

Kate started fighting to get away and Phil had the hardest time keeping her restrained. Mehmet quickly checked Regina but realised they had killed her so he got the powder from the work bench and walked towards Kate.

"Keep her still," he ordered Phil.

Kate was kicking, screaming and wriggling but Phil was a lot stronger.

"Open her mouth," Mehmet urged.

Kate had her lips pressed together now, but when Phil pressed her nostrils together she knew she would open her mouth eventually. They were going to feed her the powder and Kate still didn't know what it was going to do to her.

Mehmet poured a bit of the powder in the back of her mouth and shut it. To make sure she would swallow he pressed her nostrils together again.

Kate didn't want to see the guys who were doing this to her. Not if this could be her final moment. She closed her eyes and thought back on the ultrasound she had only hours ago. She could taste the powder, which to her surprise wasn't that bad. She didn't know if it was the fatigue or he powder, or a combination of the two but she started to feel limp. She was slowly losing consciousness.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15: Kate = strong**

"She was here," Dutchy said to Commander White. He recognised Kate's mobile phone which was on the floor of the motel room.

"We know she was here," Commander White replied irritated. "She told us that herself remember?" she added in annoyance while they moved back outside.

"Where did she go?" Dutchy muttered as he looked around the car park. The two federal cops who had barged into Commander White's office earlier were sealing off the area but since he and Commander White had come along they were allowed to stay.

As soon as the phone connection with Kate had disappeared the four people had jumped into a car and had gone to the motel but, as suspected, the area was deserted. The motel owner was being questioned. Did he see who had come to the room and in what way they left?

Luckily the owner could give a good description of the car in which he had seen the women and two men leave. It took the rest of the day to track the car down to a shed where they found the lifeless body of Regina Simpson but Kate was nowhere to be found.

The cops started to look worried the more they saw of what was inside. One of them walked towards Maxine and Dutchy.

"Do you have any idea what Kate was bringing back to Regina?" he asked.

Maxine shrugged. "She never said," she answered.

"I don't know what she could have that belongs to Regina," Dutchy added.

"Kate did talk about formulas a while ago. Regina had been mumbling numbers and letters. This looks like a professional lab. I hope it isn't linked," Maxine said. She was scared she was right and while she told this to the cops she started to believe it couldn't be anything else.

"Oh God," the cop sighed. "Madelaine Cruise has told us some names of men she was working with. The leader of the group operating in Australia is a Mehmet Orbani. We suspect him of killing Madelaine. He was waiting for a formula and if Regina had it in her possession than I'm fearing for Ms McGregor's life," he said, shaking his head.

"I won't believe she's dead," Dutchy protested. "These guys must have taken Kate with them for a reason. They wouldn't take her body if she was dead," he added vehemently.

"Mehmet has a boat. Let's assume he has the formula right now. He would want to skip the country. The question is; has he been able to produce whatever the formula was for and is he using Ms McGregor to get away or has she prevented him and is she paying the price for doing so?" the cop wondered out loud.

"Why would he leave the lab if he has the formula but not produced anything?" Maxine wondered. "Wouldn't it be more realistic that Regina has been killed after producing whatever she made and, like you said, that this guy took Kate with him as an insurance," she continued.

"We could look for this boat if you could give us a name," Dutchy suggested.

The cop nodded and took out his note pad. "I can count on the navy's discretion. This information shouldn't get out," he warned.

Maxine and Dutchy both agreed and after receiving the name of the boat they went back to Navcom. 

Kate was awakened by a rocking motion. She opened her eyes but closed them again. Her head was pounding and it was hard to focus on one point. For a moment she just lay there hoping she could make the pounding stop.

The movement caused her stomach to make somersaults and before she could even think about where to empty the contents of her stomach she felt it come up. Quickly she sat up, leaned over the side of the bed, and threw up.

It took all her energy to try get back on the bed. Her muscles ached and felt like they were made of lead but she had to because on the floor, right underneath her nose was a bowl filled with what looked like vomit.

The smell was horrendous and Kate had to fight against the urge to gag again, knowing that her stomach was empty and the next time she would only produce gastric acid. With a new found energy she hauled herself back on the bed.

The world was spinning even faster now. Kate wanted it to stop. She wanted to remember how she got to be so sick. Remembering what had happened was hard. Fragments of thoughts fluttered through her brain but nothing substantial.

_Headache_. _Stomach_. She couldn't remember what she had done to get this ill. With her hands she touched her belly and more as a surprise she felt something moving inside. _My baby!_

"My baby!" Kate whispered. It didn't matter how she had gotten so ill, she needed to see a doctor to help her to get better!

"Where am I?" she wondered as she tried to get up. She looked around and realised she had to be on a boat.

_Hammersley,_ she thought. This wasn't the Hammersley. This boat wasn't as big and they had returned home. She didn't have to be on a boat anymore. They had come home with their patient.

_Regina_. Slowly it all came back to her. The diary, the formula, the men, the powder. Those men probably were somewhere nearby which meant she was still in danger. Now, if she could get to the wheelhouse she could turn the boat around and steer towards a harbour.

With the best of her ability Kate tried to walk towards the door. Boats were all very much alike and the wheelhouse would be on the top deck so that was where she had to go. After just a few steps Kate felt exhausted. She needed to hold on to something on her way and the straight line she was aiming for wasn't nearly reached but finally she made it to the railing of the ship.

She held on so tightly that her knuckles started to turn white. With all the concentration she had she started to move towards the front of the ship, but she hadn't moved that far when she heard voices coming from inside.

_Don't think about the men. Come on. Go on. Go to the wheelhouse and sound the alarm__at home, _she encouraged herself.

Step by step Kate came closer and was amazed that there was no one in the wheelhouse. She didn't have time to think about that. Those men could realise she was gone any minute and they wouldn't allow her to reach the radio if they knew what she was doing.

"Mayday, mayday, this is Kate McGregor. Does anyone hear me?" she panted.

Kate repeated her words but in her head it sounded so much louder than in real life. She was sure that they would hear her.

Kate turned around and leant against a table with a map on it. Exhaustedly she bent over it, not even registering what was underneath her hands.

"Ms McGregor, this is HMAS Larrikia. What is the nature of your mayday?" the radio crackled.

Kate turned towards the radio but because of the sudden movement everything turned black momentarily.

"This is HMAS Larrikia. What is your position?" the radio operator said when Kate didn't respond straight away. "Come in please."

"This is Lieutenant Kate McGregor. I've been kidnapped," Kate said. After every word she needed to take a deep breath of air. She knew she had to look for the GPS but it was still black in front of her eyes.

"Kate, what is the name of your vessel?" the radio operator asked again.

Kate shook her head. How should she know that? The only thing she knew was that she was at sea with no landmarks to recognise. She looked around the wheelhouse and saw the GPS.

"We're 10 degrees south, 1.310 east," she read the numbers. "I don't know the name of this boat. I think I've been taken by two men," she continued with a trembling voice. "Please, they'll kill me," she urged.

A long silence followed in which Kate started to worry. Why didn't they respond? Were they too far away? Wasn't anyone closer than a patrol boat which was stationed in Darwin? She surely wasn't that far away from Cairns?

"Kate, we're seven hours steaming away from you. We'll try and send someone else to assist. Can you tell us your heading?" the radio operator finally came back.

Kate looked around the wheelhouse. "North," she whispered. She would scream it if she could but the conversation had drained her completely. Now she needed to get back before the men realised what she had done and hope that someone would come and rescue her.

On her way back to the room where she had been before Kate heard voices coming closer. She grabbed the railing and looked at the water passing underneath her. It made her head and stomach turn so badly that she leaned forward and threw up the little content she still had inside.

"Here she is," Phil said while he ran towards her. "What were you doing?" he asked as he pulled her away from the railing and tried to make her look at him.

Kate immediately missed the support of the railing. Her weak body couldn't support its own weight. She collapsed in Phil's arms. He picked her up and threatened to throw her overboard.

"No," Kate protested while she got hold of his shirt.

"Let go of me," Phil said angrily.

"Phil! What are you doing?" Mehmet rushed at the scene. "We need her," he explained.

Phil put Kate down on the floor and pointed at the wheelhouse. "She's a burden to us. The only thing she does is throw up and I'll bet she has used the radio and contacted her navy friends," Phil voiced his concerns.

"No," Kate said as she shook her head to make her words more clear. "I'm too…" she couldn't finish her sentence. She was so tired.

"Look at her. She's a pile of shit. She can't even stand on her feet. How do you think she…"

"Precisely! She's no good to us. Even if she didn't get through to her friends they're looking for her. I don't want to be around when they find her. We used to have Madelaine telling us of the whereabouts of the navy but since you've killed her we're on our own," Phil interrupted.

"Who says we're going to keep her?" Mehmet replied. "She helped Regina. She knows the formula. She's going to give it to us and then we'll get rid of her."

Kate realised they were talking about her and all she could do was curl up on the floor, hoping that Mehmet could convince Phil not to throw her in the ocean. She had no chance of surviving if they did.

"We don't need her. We'll go back to the Eliki islands and start all over," Phil tried again before he picked up Kate and held her above the waves.

"Wait!" Mehmet yelled. "OK, OK, we'll dump her if she can't remember anything. Give me an hour. You can throw her in the ocean if she hasn't reproduced any of the formula. Don't you think even a part of the formula is better than nothing?" he finally convinced his partner.

Phil pulled Kate back on board and almost threw her in Mehmet's arms. "One hour," he said. "You've got one hour." 

Dutchy sat in Maxine White's office, waiting for news. The Larrikia had had contact with Kate which was good. She was still alive but not out of danger. He would rather go out himself but that would not help. Those guys who had taken Kate were armed and dangerous. Luckily another patrol boat was in the vicinity and now on its way to the rescue.

Meanwhile Commander White tried to keep him occupied by giving him endless papers to fill in. Dutchy didn't even know if he wanted to go back to ADFA or not but what else could he do right now?

To keep himself occupied Dutchy tried to imagine him as an officer. Kate had thought he was ready for it but was he really? In the past twelve weeks he had had extra practice since he had taken over a lot of Kate's tasks and although they had all gone well he hadn't thought he had done anything special. Was it enough to make him an officer?

Dutchy looked up and saw Maxine White working behind her desk. She too was waiting for news about Kate. Dutchy had been looking at Maxine for almost a minute when the phone rang and they both almost jumped up from their chairs.

"Commander White," Maxine stated.

She listened to what the other person had to say and nodded as if that person was sitting in front of her.

"Approach with caution. Let me know as soon as the boarding party has boarded the vessel," Maxine ordered.

She hung up the phone and smiled at Dutchy. "A few more minutes," she said. 

"N=(45 + 60/Z) + (∑ x 5.7/ 14) x ∏ +ų. That's the formula?" Mehmet demanded to know. He looked at the piece of paper on which Kate had written down what she remembered.

"Yes," Kate panted. She was hanging on the table, unable to give any resistance. "Please," she continued. She touched her belly. "I'm pregnant."

Mehmet didn't care. He didn't have time to think about babies. Ever since Madelaine Cruise had started talking to the police things had gone wrong. Maybe even before that. The cell of their network on the Eliki islands had killed the five remaining scientists without realising that without them they had no chance of re-making the formula.

When it was on the news that one of the patrol boats had picked up a person out at sea and were placed into quarantine he knew it had to be Regina. She was alive and would, eventually, be brought back to Australia.

Madelaine had already been arrested but nobody believed she would talk. Why would she after being a double agent for so long? They had trusted her so when the news came out she _had_ talked he had no other option than to kill her.

Regina came back to Australia but claimed not to have the formula anymore. Too bad for her it was presented to her by lovely Kate and now Kate had given back the formula. The circle was complete and they could get rid of her.

"This is the Australian Navy. Show yourself," someone yelled.

Where had they come from? They hadn't heard or seen anyone approach the boat. Mehmet grabbed the piece of paper with the formula and folded it to put it in his pocket.

"You," he frantically yelled at Kate. "Get up!"

He tried to get her on her feet but she collapsed like a sack of potatoes.

"Step away from her," a navy man ordered. He had his gun pointed at him and would shoot if necessary.

Mehmet stepped away, hoping no one would notice the formula. As long as he had that he could pass it on and continue their work. Maybe not himself but someone in the organisation would.

A sailor stepped closer to him and cuffed him before he was guided away.

At the same time someone else kneeled down next to Kate and helped her up. "You're safe now," he said to her.

Kate whispered something but she had no energy to produce a sound. She was taken back to the patrol boat which had come to the rescue and she was taken to hospital. She was safe and she had survived. 

Dutchy, Maxine and Mike, who had heard the news and had come down to the base, all waited for the patrol boat to dock. It was late and dark and a chilly wind had started to blow but none of them would miss the return of Kate McGregor.

"There she is," Maxine said happily when she saw two sailors carry a stretcher off the boat. A third one was walking alongside and held up an IV bag.

The Coxswain followed the group and handed his paperwork to the ambulance personnel before he came to the group of sailors who were eagerly waiting.

"She's going to be fine. She's badly dehydrated and needs lots of rest but she's going to be fine," the Coxswain said.

"The baby?" Mike wanted to know.

"As strong as an ox. He or she is having a party inside. I could hear a strong heartbeat so I don't foresee any problems," he answered.

The CO of the ship joined them. "That woman has willpower. Imagine being as ill as she is and still being able to solve crimes. She stopped the terrorist threat and gave us statements concerning the two men who had kidnapped her. I recommend a promotion if she wasn't up for one yet," he suggested.

Maxine nodded. "I'll take that in consideration," she replied before she looked at Dutchy. "You too," she whispered.

The stretcher with Kate on it was wheeled into the ambulance. They drove off but everyone knew it was going to be OK. Finally things would go back to normal.


	16. Chapter 16

**Epilogue: friends + family = better life**

_Jim sneaked out of the bed. Kate was still asleep and he wanted to keep it that way. It was not even five thirty and he had seen her get ready within ten minutes so there was no rush to wake her. If Kate had a meeting at Navcom at 0800 they still had more than an hour before she had to go._

_With a towel around his naked body he went down to the kitchen. Kate was going to be away for at least ten days and he didn't know himself if he was going to be around when she came back. It was part of their jobs and they didn't complain but as long as they were together he wanted to spoil her as much as he could._

_In the kitchen he went straight to the fridge. They had had so much to eat that they had totally forgotten about his home-made dessert. Before he opened the fridge he looked around to make sure Kate hadn't secretly followed him to play the same trick he had performed the night before._

_It was quiet in the house and it was highly unlikely Kate had followed him so Jim quickly took the chocolate mousse out and put two pieces on a tray. It was the best and worst breakfast he could think of but he couldn't care less. Chocolate mousse was their shared passion._

_On his tiptoes Jim walked back into the bedroom. The first sunbeams were shining through the window. They highlighted Kate's beautiful hair which was spread around the pillow._

"_Good morning smudge," Jim said teasingly when he crawled onto the bed._

_He had put the tray down so he had his hands free but before he could touch her she wrapped her arms around him and pulled his head closer for a kiss._

"_Morning sludge," she moaned, trying to hide her smile._

"_Did you sleep well?" Jim asked lovingly._

_Kate sat upright and smiled. "What do you think?" she asked seductively._

"_You fell asleep way too fast," he teased._

"_Too fast?" Kate asked questioningly._

"_You totally forgot this," Jim said before he took one of the pieces of chocolate mousse and dipped his finger in it and smeared it across her face._

_Kate wanted to get the other piece from the tray but Jim prevented that._

"_Oh no, don't you move," Jim ordered with a smile on his face. He had dipped his finger in the chocolate already and was contemplating where he would smear it this time. "I'm the only one who can toy with chocolate mousse," he laughed._

_Kate lay on her back and awaited what Jim would do to her. She would get her chance to pay him back._

"_Open your mouth," Jim ordered lovingly. Kate did what he asked and he put his finger in it._

_They teased and joked around with the chocolate until both bowls were empty and they were laying in each other's arms._

"_You know," Kate started softly. She had little smears of chocolate all over her body and Jim was sucking on one of her ears to get rid of some chocolate. "I woke up this morning and it felt so different," she finished her sentence._

_Jim showed her his chocolate covered finger and waited until she started licking it before he replied. "Different? In what way?" he asked._

_Kate shrugged. "I don't know. Like I'm complete... with chocolate and all," she joked._

_Jim laughed but continued more seriously: "You complete me. I love you so very much Kate McGregor."_

"_I love you too James Roth," Kate whispered before she snuggled deeper into his arms._

_They didn't say anything else and just enjoyed each other's company like this was as it always should be._

Kate opened her eyes and was surprised to find herself in hospital. Still not completely awake she turned around in her bed and saw the little crib with her child in it. There was nothing else she could do but smile.

Quietly Kate got out of bed and looked at her beautiful child.

"I was dreaming of your daddy," she whispered before she pulled away the blanket and picked up the baby. "Actually it wasn't dream it was more of a recollection," Kate smiled, a bit embarrassed. "It was of the morning I realised you were growing inside me my beautiful. Maybe, one day I'll tell you all about it, but it's really time for your next feed," she said before she climbed back onto her bed.

Two days ago she had become the proud mother of a very healthy nipper and she hardly could take her eyes of the baby who was quietly falling asleep again.

"Come on, be a sport for mummy," Kate said while she softly stroked his little cheek. "The doctor said we could go home if you eat well. You don't want to keep your mum inside this hospital longer than necessary?"

Before Kate unbuttoned her top, so she could feed the baby, she turned on the television. Being a mother was great but it would never stop her from being interested in what happened in the rest of the world.

The news had started already and Kate just caught a glimpse of the news anchor before a reporter, out in the field, took over from her. He was standing in front of the court house and quickly pointed at it before he started talking.

"_The two men, who were planning an attack on Australia, were found guilty by the__jury and with that the terrorist threat has definitively stopped," _he started his story. _"Let's have a look at the report I made earlier today," _he continued before his image faded away and was replaced by a visual timeline.

"_Eight months ago two servicemen were killed in a bombing. At that time it was believed they had successfully stopped a nuclear threat,"_ the reporter's voice was heard while pictures of Swain and Jim were shown.

"Look, that's daddy. The good looking one," Kate said softly to her little baby.

A third picture was shown of a jungle village before the reporter continued.

"_Almost three weeks after the bombing five scientists were murdered in a small village on the Eliki islands. They had been working on a formula to produce a toxic powder. A sixth person was able to escape. The woman, Alicia M., took the formula with her and later on was picked up by an Australian warship."_

Kate nodded. She knew all too well what had happened next. She kept on listening while she rearranged the pillows so she could lay back a bit more comfortably.

"_Meanwhile back in Australia a terrorist sleeper cell was trying to get the formula back. The two men, Mehmet O. and Phil S., who are found guilty today picked up Alicia who had returned home. They forced her to reproduce the toxic powder before they brutally killed her," _the reporter explained.

Kate decided not to listen while the reporter told everyone how she had been captured and used as a lab rat.

"_Now Jared, these men are very dangerous and they'll be going to jail for a long time. Do we know what the toxic powder would have done if it was released here in Australia?" _the news anchor asked.

"_The only person they were able to infect with the powder has survived but we know she's lucky. At the lab where the powder was produced they found some left over powder which was sent off to forensics to be tested. It seriously dehydrates the human body which can harm bodily functions. The woman who was saved after a horrendous twenty-four-hour ordeal, had the simple luck of not being given enough of the powder," _Jared explained.

Kate felt a cold chill going down her spine. She had been in hospital for a week to make sure everything was fine. She had been lucky. Because she was healthy and in a good shape her body hadn't reacted as Mehmet and Phil would have liked to.

"_Is the terrorist threat all over now?" _the news anchor wanted to know.

Jared laughed as if he was asked a very silly question. "_The threat with the formula is, but terrorists are always present. We should always look out, but as it has been proven again, Australia is well protected by our defence forces," _Jared answered.

Kate shook her head. The reporter was right but knowing that the threat was on-going was a little bit more frightening now she had a little person to take care of. She looked down and saw the baby drinking peacefully. Kate planted a soft kiss on its head and cuddled him until someone softly cleared his throat.

"Can I come in?" Dutchy asked. He walked in with flowers in his hand and a little present for the baby. "Oh I'm sorry," he quickly added when he saw Kate's unbuttoned shirt.

Kate looked up and smiled. "It's OK," she said. "You look good Midshipman Mulholland," she added formally.

"You too mama McGregor," Dutchy teased.

They both laughed. No one had called her that yet; mummy, but she was very proud of it.

While Kate turned off the television Dutchy didn't know what he should do; come closer or wait from a distance until Kate finished feeding her baby. He felt a bit ashamed that he was blatantly watching what was going on in Kate's side of the room.

"You can come closer you know," Kate said when she saw him still standing, unmoving.

"Are you sure?" he asked a bit hesitant. "I mean you're…" he sighed and pointed at her without finishing his sentence.

Kate pointed at the chair next to her bed. "Come on. Sit down. I won't bite and he's only biting me," she encouraged Dutchy.

It was enough for Dutchy to start moving although he still looked a bit uncomfortable as he sat down.

"You look good with a little one in your arms," Dutchy declared proudly. "You've got a name for him yet?" he asked.

Kate looked at the little guy in her arms and shrugged. "The only thing I know for sure is that I want to use his dad's name; James," she answered without taking her eyes of her son. "But you know. He isn't the man I lost. This is a totally new life and I want him to have his own name. James Roth junior sounds so…" Kate said trying to find the right word to describe what she was feeling.

"James Dylan," Dutchy teased.

Kate looked up in shock and shook her head in disbelieve. "Oh God, not you too," she exclaimed.

Dutchy looked bewildered.

"After his godfather I presume," Kate tried to enlighten him. "You're not the first one to try that trick. If it's up to Mike his name is going to be James Michael Roth," Kate explained laughingly.

Dutchy grinned. He hadn't even thought about becoming a godfather. He just wanted to tease her a bit.

"When did Mike come to visit? I didn't see the Hammersley when I visited Navcom earlier today," Dutchy asked.

"Yesterday. Together with many other of the sailors. Can you believe it? Doctor Howard had to kick them out," Kate laughed, remembering the scene when the man, who had served with all the sailors who were present, told them all to leave, even the captain. Doctor Howard must have felt really good telling Mike what to do. "Well you know how rowdy the Hammersley crew can be," Kate started to explain.

Dutchy nodded. "So they sailed out this morning?" he asked as if Kate would know the answer.

Kate shrugged. "Don't know but if they weren't in port where else would they be?" she replied.

"About the name," Dutchy started to defend himself. "I said it as a joke."

"I know," Kate said. She was done feeding little James so she took him off her breast and put him down in her lap. "Hey Dutchy, do you want to hold him?" she asked enthusiastically.

A big smile spread across Dutchy's face and eagerly he nodded. "Sure," he said proudly.

Kate handed her son to the strong man but eyed him like a hawk. "Watch his head," she warned him. "Yes, support him like that," she said as she pointed out how he should handle James.

"Hello James dot dot dot Roth," Dutchy said to the little guy when he finally finished fidgeting. "Has your mummy showed you your navy uniform already?" Dutchy asked the bundle in his arms.

"Yes, thank you very much," Kate laughed. "You could have warned me it was made from one of my uniforms. I actually got into trouble because of that," Kate protested, even though she had forgiven everyone already.

"I think that's the first time your mummy actually got in trouble. You know James, your mummy is known as 'Princess Perfect' and she hardly does anything wrong," Dutchy continued as if he was alone with James in the room and they could have a long man-talk.

"About the available godfather position," Kate started seriously, ignoring Dutchy jabber. "I uhm… Dylan, I…" she started to stutter.

Dutchy looked up very quickly and softly muttered "Dylan?" underneath his breath.

"I know Jim liked you. He uhm… he respected you and talked highly about you," Kate continued. "We've been friends for a long time and… well… I don't know… would you like to be James' godfather?" she asked him.

Dutchy didn't know how to react to that question. He was honoured and would love to take on that job but what did she want him to do? Be like a dad to James? He couldn't do that.

"Why me?" he asked. "I mean, I'm going to be really busy during the next year until I've finished my officer training and I don't know where they'll place me after that. Of course I want to help you out in any way I can but what do you expect from me if I would be his godfather?" he asked her.

"I asked you because I know what Jim thought of you. He would agree with my choice. I want you to be in James' life; to be a person he could turn to for advice. There comes a day when he'll need a man to talk to. I seriously hope there will be many to pick from but I want to make sure there's at least one," Kate explained.

Dutchy smiled and nodded. "In that case I'll be honoured," he said.

"Kate," Dutchy said after a long pause. "Who's helping _you_? Do you get enough support?" he asked seriously.

Kate nodded vehemently. "His grandparents are an enormous help. They've been helping me since we returned and we've become very close. Malcolm and Terry are like parents to me. They're going to take care of James when I'm off on the Hammersley in a little while," Kate answered.

"That's true. You finally got your promotion," Dutchy smiled. "Congratulations," he added.

"Thank you," Kate said. "Mike will finally take his desk job as soon as I'm ready to sail again," she added.

Kate looked at James and wanted to take him back in her arms. She wasn't ready to sail yet. Not by far. "Can I have my son back?" she asked.

Dutchy handed James and was still standing when Malcolm and Terry followed by doctor Howard entered the room.

"Good afternoon," Doctor Howard said. "How are mother and son doing today?" he asked.

Kate looked at him and smiled. "Very well. He just finished his afternoon meal and wants to know if he can take his mother home," she joked.

Doctor Howard shook his head and sighed. "I'll check your blood pressure and heart rate. I'll need to weigh James and see if he's gained weight before I'll make any judgement on whether you can take your son home," he answered. He turned around to the three other people in the room and wanted to shoo them out. "We need some privacy," he said.

Dutchy picked up his bag and bent forward to say goodbye to Kate and James. "We'll be in touch. I've got some other meetings to go to before I'm due back at Watson's Bay. You can call me anytime you like," he said before he kissed James on his little head.

"Thank you," Kate replied before she kissed Dutchy and said goodbye.

"We'll wait outside," Malcolm said a bit irritated.

When Doctor Howard was finished and agreed for Kate to go home the Roth's came back into the room. They helped Kate pack the remaining stuff she had in the room. Before she knew it Kate was on her way home with James in a carrier. Malcolm had run ahead so he could get the car so Kate didn't have to walk far with James.

"You're going to have a wonderful life with your mummy," Terry said to her grandson while they waited.

Kate laughed before she looked at her mother-in-law. "If you've got the formula to an easy life could you write it down for me?" she asked.

Terry patted her at her shoulder and shook her head. "You don't need a formula. You've got it in you and you've got great friends and colleagues to help you out. Dylan is a very nice man. Believe in yourself," she encouraged.

Kate smiled and felt tears press at the back of her eyes. "I'm so glad you're here as well. You and Malcolm are so good to us. Maybe the formula to an easy life is having people like you around," she stated.

"To family!" Terry exclaimed.

"Yes. To family and good friends. They'll help you get through hard times," Kate said proudly.


End file.
